Real Positive Thinking
By James Manktelow
All too often, positive thinking is advocated as an answer to all life's problems. "Just think positively," the argument goes, "and you'll blast through the barriers in your way."
Yes, and no. And if you've ever tried using positive thinking techniques, you may have found this "no" out to your cost.
Sure, we all have mental barriers that we have to break through. Some of these barriers protected us as children, but hold us back now. Others come from self-doubt, negative self-talk and lack of recognition of our real skills, abilities and experience. And yes, some of these barriers really do stop us achieving the happiness and success we deserve.
However, at a simple level, some things are just not possible. At another level, there are some good opportunities you'll be well-placed to realize, and others that you won't be.
So whether you are a pessimist or an eternal optimist (and naturally a positive thinker) I prescribe a good dose of reality checking alongside your positive thinking. So that we can perform and achieve well, positive thinking must be accompanied by actions such as planning, preparation and practice.
Here we look at some steps that help you act positively, by taking positive actions as well as thinking positively too. Firstly we look at "Thought Awareness," a technique you can use to understand your fears and negative thoughts. We then look at rational thinking and positive thinking as ways of countering the negative thoughts you have identified.
Thought Awareness
You are thinking negatively when you fear the future, put yourself down, criticize yourself excessively for errors, doubt your abilities or expect failure. Negative thinking can damage confidence, harm performance and paralyze mental skills.
Unfortunately, negative thoughts have a tendency to flit into our consciousness, do their damage and then flit back out again, with their significance having barely been noticed. Since we barely notice these negative thoughts, we do not challenge them properly, which means they can be completely incorrect and wrong. This does not stop them doing damage.
Thought awareness is the process by which you observe your thoughts and become aware of what is going through your head.
To use the technique, observe your "stream of consciousness" as you think about what you are trying to achieve. Do not suppress any thoughts. Instead, just let them run their course while you make note of them.
As you notice negative thoughts, write them down and then let them go.
Here are some of the typical negative thoughts you might experience when preparing to give a major presentation:
Thought awareness is the first step in the process of eliminating negative thoughts: You cannot counter thoughts that you do not know you think.
Rational Thinking (for Positive Planning)
The next step in dealing with negative thinking is to challenge the negative thoughts that you wrote down using the Thought Awareness technique.
Look at every thought you wrote down and challenge it rationally. Ask yourself whether the thought is reasonable. What evidence is there for and against the thought? Would your friends or mentors agree with the thought or disagree with it?
Looking at some of the examples, the following challenges could be made to these common negative thoughts:
| Tip: |
Now is the time to make sure your positive action plan is in place: Using our example of the presentation, ensure that you complete all the practice and preparation that is required. Make sure you have mentally rehearsed the performance or event, and put in place contingency plans for any problems that could arise.
Positive Thinking
By now, you should already be feeling a more positive: Some of your negative thoughts will be allayed by planning your preparation and contingencies. The final step for Real, Positive Thinking is to prepare rational, positive thoughts and affirmations to counter any remaining negativity.
Drawing on the Thoughts Awareness and Rational Thinking exercises, and your positive planning, now prepare positive affirmations that will help you to build self-confidence and change negative behavior patterns into positive ones. Your affirmations, based on the clear, rational assessment that you made using Rational Thinking, will help undo the damage that negative thinking may have caused you.
Continuing the example above, positive affirmations could be:
In conclusion…
Traditionally, people have advocated positive thinking almost recklessly, as if it is a solution to everything. Positive thinking should be used with common sense: No amount of positive thinking can make everyone an Olympic champion marathon runner (although positive thinking, along with hard training, will certainly help someone with this talent and potential.)
First, decide rationally what you can realistically attain with hard work, then plan the hard work and preparation, and finally use positive thinking to "blast through those barriers" - rationally.