When I have something to say...

Post YOG syndrome..

2010-08-30T22:37:00.002+08:00

cannot concentrate in work at all.. argh!!!

Yokohama WTTC 2009

2009-05-17T20:01:00.001+08:00

WTTC is realli a very new and nice experience for me... it's my first world championship... hopefully there will be more for me.. I admit i did not perform well.. maybe nxt time no chance to go le... however i realli learnt a lot.. both on umpiring and communicating with other officials in a tournament from different part of the world..

From this tournament, i not only learnt about umpire, i have made lots of umpiring frens from all over the world.. this is the best part of going to a WTTC... A very wonderful experience really...

Also, Japan is really a great place to live in.. everything seemed to be very wonderful there... hope to have chance to go there again..

2009-04-04T02:16:00.001+08:00

i wonder i am i playing stocks.. every week lost few thousand... i hate myself!!! kcuf lleh!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-01T02:55:00.002+08:00

很想哭，但又哭不来。。对一切已经看得很淡。。。对人生已没有什么期望。。。
很想看一部感人的电影，让自己的心能够再感觉到痛。。也许只有这样，才能让我相信，自己还活着。。
感觉自己对什么事都已不在意。。但为什么我还会想写下此时的心情？
不知道自己到底怎么了。。。

相信

2009-03-01T02:38:00.001+08:00

突然觉得我只是一个人有点孤单浅浅的忧郁
我不知道明天会不会很美丽
虽然今天天很蓝而云很白风很凉
今天日记空白没有关系不必每件事情都在意
不想工作不想困扰自己不必刻意想你
该是我的总会来就算挑战我不走开
一点点你的微笑已经让我觉得温暖
我还不懂坚持正好让我学会去爱
我曾经看见困难变得胆小不够勇敢
但还是要相信相信感觉相信简单
有一天等我懂得现实也许更灰心
至少现在让我去相信哦
我还是会相信相信感觉相信简单

突然好想你

2009-01-24T15:32:00.000+08:00

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息

想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今
终於让自已属於我自已
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己

突然好想你
你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲
变成两部悲伤的电影
为什麽你
带我走过最难忘的旅行
然后留下最痛的纪念品

我们那麽甜那麽美
那麽相信
那麽疯那麽热烈的曾经
为何我们
还是要奔向各自的幸福
和遗憾中老去

突然好想你
你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
最怕此生已经决定自己过
没有你却又突然
听到你的消息

很想你

2009-01-20T02:06:00.001+08:00

无意间听到这首歌，忽然想起了你。。
想想，那时的预言，还蛮准的。。就如这首歌的歌词。。。

“你在哪里？这些年来如意不如意？
还快乐？还单纯？还美丽？
时光如何对你?
我在这里人海中的一座岛屿
很平静风平浪静
只除了深夜里回忆会疯狂来袭”

现在的我，生活平平淡淡。。无风无浪。。每天下班看看连续剧，打打乒乓，日子一天一天地过去。。

有一天，忽然间听到何维健唱的这首“很想你”。。想起了当初下定决心，和你分手，就在听到何维健在绝对superstar上场了这首歌之后。。那时的我，听着这首歌，仿佛能够想象到我们的未来。。我会一个人，住在人海中的一座岛屿，而你...会努力的面对人生，努力地活得开心，活得精彩。。我决定还你自由。。

看到你Friendster上的照片，我想我的决定没有错。。好羡慕你现在的生活。。。不知你是否也会偶尔想起我。。。我看还是不要的好。。。就让我安静的从你的记忆中消失。。。祝你能快快乐乐地过好每一天！

New Year Eve Count down to 2009

2009-01-01T01:40:00.002+08:00

Went to marina for 2009 count down! so long nv see so many pple liao... so many idr there... scary... the fireworks are damm nice! but is it realli worth squeeze to go home just for that 5 to 10 min of fireworks? hmm... difficult question..

2008-12-06T01:03:00.000+08:00

2008-12-02T00:12:00.000+08:00

Shanghai trip 2008

2008-11-27T08:27:00.000+08:00

Leadership and Vision

2008-09-19T04:08:00.002+08:00

After reading a chapter in this book "The Last Lecture", i realised something about leadership.. Leadership is not just about the ability to lead a team.. It's all VISION.. vision for yourself and for the whole team.. without a vision, there will not be leadership...

When u have a vision for the team, then u can try to lead the team towards this vision..

sprain my ankle 2 weeks ago...

2008-08-01T22:39:00.000+08:00

Grade I ankle sprains are usually minor, and can heal in 2-3 weeks. They involve little tissue damage, and usually have little to no swelling. A few days of rest, and a week or two of rehabilitation exercises is usually sufficient for full recovery.

Grade II sprains are the most common ankle sprains, and they have the most varying recovery time. The tissue damage is not severe, however it is significant. And the initial care, espeically rest, will determine how long recovery will take. If all other factors are favorable, Grade II sprains should take 4-6 weeks to heal.

Ankle sprain recovery for third degree sprains takes significantly loner, and may require surgery if sprains become a chronic problem. It can take 8-12 weeks to fully recover from a third degree ankle sprain.

my sprain should be grade II... looks like i've got another 2 to 4 weeks to recover
,,.....

2008-06-09T10:48:00.001+08:00

argh! getting emo after singapore open 2008 is over... the past 5 days are fun although it tiring and i've made lots of mistakes! i miss everyone!! hope we can work together again soon!!!

singapore open 2008

2008-06-08T23:02:00.005+08:00

singapore open 2008 is finally finished...
these are the only picture i have taken.. sad sad... nv take with lee eun hee....

2008-05-28T00:52:00.003+08:00

i wish life is a video game, then i can insert more tokens, and try till i win

happi 26th birthday to me!

2008-03-31T11:43:00.002+08:00

happy birthday to me!!
26 years old lor...
life still damm empty...
no soul in my body..
xian...

Sunsports Open 2008

2008-03-15T23:45:00.003+08:00

Today, i played in sunsports open team events finals. The match was against safra. The result went on to 2-2 and jiansheng and i was the doubles players for the final match. This was my first time playing finals in a national level competition. I realli thank ShingWah for giving me such a chance. Although in the end, we lost, i realli gained a lot of things. Now i realise skill level is realli not that important compared to mentality.. when we was leading 1 game to 0, and leading in the 2nd game, i could feel winning was close to us.. that was when my body starts becoming stiff.. Adjusting was not easy... i realise the difference between good and bad player is not in the skill, but the mentality... good players are able to adjust quickly and adapt to situations.. most importantly, the urge to win the match must be strong... if u tink playing with top players, can win one game very good liao.. then u can nv beat them... and one more thing... the b4 match preparation.. the nite before, i slept too late.. and nv sleep well.. in the end, for the whole of today, i was feeling giddy giddy de.. this is the consequences of no self control...

lastly, i am going to share a story which i found in the cutest girl--Tania's blog.. very meaningful..

A student once asked his teacher, "What is love?"
His teacher replied, "Go out to the corn fields, find the biggest corn. But when you walk, you can't turn back." The student did as he told.
When he went out to the corn field, at the start, he saw a very big corn. But then thinking that there might be bigger corns out there, he ignored it carried on walking. After walking for some time he realised that the corn he saw initially right at the beginning was still the biggest amongst all but he couldn't turn back. So he went back t the teacher with empty hands. The boy regretted.
The teacher told him, "What you want to know, what you have been looking for have been always with you. You go on looking and looking for a better one, even though you have found a suitable one. Thats when you miss an opportunity and by the time you realise it, its too late, you can't turn back now. Well, love is something that has always been with you, but just that you don't really know or cherish it.

re-hi!

2008-02-14T14:33:00.003+08:00

halo everyone! long time nv post liao!!
haha!! today is valentine day..
so xian.. no date... go out also xian.. everywhere couples..
so the best plan is to go home and watch drama!! haha!!

anyway, it's time to train hard for sunsports open!! must play well!! still got like one month time!! jiayou!!
national b div and pri sch competition starting le.. this year cannot be umpire le.. cos i start working le!

actually i don't even wan to umpire anymore...
not going for the umpire seminar also.. umpiring is torturing...
being a player is much better!

unlucky week... left hand swollen and cannot move...

2008-01-07T22:42:00.000+08:00

haiz... now i can only type with 1 hand..
met with an accident while riding my bike on the road...
left hand elbow swollen like pingpong ball..
now still nid to compensate the guy.. he wants to change a new door...
few thousand is unavoidable le...
money is still small matter... all the troubles to handle are damm irritating.. moreover my hand still cannot move...
haiz...
being a human being is so ma fan...

over the rainbow..

2007-12-25T00:12:00.000+08:00

this song is so nice.. feels like i am lying on the rainbow, talking to the stars..
so fairy tale rite? it will be so nice if i can go to the lullaby land..

some day i wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.... ..

back from vietnam

2007-11-28T09:40:00.000+08:00

this trip to vietnam realli make me realise how good it is to be living in singapore!
only one word to describe vietnam--"chaotic"..
u realli have to take ur hat of the drivers in vietnam.. they must be realli skillful to be able to drive on vietnam's road.. traffics including bicycles, motorbikes, car and human beings seemed to be appearing from all directions!!

my umpiring experience is not that good also.. i was assigned to share a room with a senior umpire from japan.. his english was limitted.. and i totally don't understand japanese.. so it's a chicken talking to a duck...

but overall it's still a good experience.. at least i learnt how to take a plane by myself. wuahhaha!!

and the most amazing thing is i nv spend a single cent for the whole 4 days in vietnam.. realli amazing!!

going vietnam loh

2007-11-22T22:57:00.000+08:00

tmr i will be going vietnam to umpire the asia cup table tennis 2007..
will be going by my own... one person...
this is the first time i go abroad alone..
my feeling now... scary... lost....
but it's good la.. a good challenge for me...
i believe after this trip, i will be more confident and mature.
i will make use of this trip to learn and experience watever i can experience..
hopefully it will be a fruitful trip..

My Celebrity Look-alikes

2007-10-11T14:30:00.001+08:00

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

2007-10-10T21:55:00.000+08:00

it has been 2 months since i last updated my blog..
nowadays... realli no motivation to update this blog...
one thing is because no one realli reads it... (my frens are realli getting lesser and lesser since i started working)..
the other thing is because my life is so boring that i have nothing to write...

i wonder this type of life can last how long??
i nid some excitments and ups and downs in my life...
although peaceful is sometimes good also..

i hate this world more and more...
living in this world is realli meaningless.. to me....
why do i see the life of pple around me so colorful... but my so black and white...

my parents are getting old.. and they start to say a lot of things that realli irritates me a lot...
i realli feel like bo chapping them... earn enuff money and get my own house and live by myself...
i realli hate the way they talk and behave...
can't they be more mature... so old le.. still so childish...
ask them help me fill in some particulars for applying one credit card is like i am going to run away and leave them to help me repay my depts like that..
if the form doesn't nid their particulars i won't even let them noe...
i am 25... 25 leh... not 15... not 5 years old...
apply one credit like owe them a lot like that.. WTH!!!!! WTF!!!
life is meaningless.. meaningless... meaningless....
i wish i can become a character in some tv drama... live their exciting life... meaningful... colorful...
rather than my own life.... realli meaningless..... haiz...... wat can i do?? haiz...

one month nv update blog le...

2007-08-10T09:05:00.001+08:00

it has been like one month i haven't update my blog!!!
so i am going to update it now!!
work is starting to get busy le..
it's a good thing though!
now then i found out that programming is not so easy!
haha!!
and i am updating my blog during office hour!!
yesterday i slept whole day... even slept thru the national day parade...
public holiday is such a nice thing to enjoy... can watch drama non-stop and sleep until shiok!!
tonite i will be playing my last match of national b div...
must realli learn something from it...
learn how to concentrate in match and feel the match.. and change tactic as necessary...
most importantly is to maintain the urge to win... that is to maintain fighting spirit...
jia you!!

祝我生日快乐

2007-07-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么让我诚实一点
诚实难免有不能控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁
一个人坐在空的包厢里面
手机让它休息一夜
难,想切割切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能流过十二点
生日快乐
我对自己说
蜡烛点了
寂寞亮了
生日快乐
泪也融了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
还爱你的一点恨
还要时间
才能平衡
热恋伤痕
画面重生
祝我生日快乐

a wasted interconstituency games...

2007-07-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

i felt so bad.. our constituency should have won.. should have got into top4 de...
just becos i cannot reach earli... haiz... we wasted our best player to play their lousy player.. should be me playing de... wasted.. or else our doubles should have won... with daniel playing...
anyway, todae can feel the team spirit when we supported natalie in the woman singles and fengxian for the veteran match.. but 1 thing i don't like is when our own team mates criticize other team mates when they are losing.. the trust is not there yet... even myself.. my confidence level about my other team mates is also not very high...

first day of work

2007-07-09T22:28:00.000+08:00

super duper boring until nothing to say...
they have a shortage of notebooks, so i have not yet been assigned one.. only assigned me an empty desk..
so i sit there and rot until a frenly colleague came and lead me to everyone, intro them to me, and intro me to them.. and shake hand and say name.. and in the end... realli don't remember any names!!! haha!! then continue rotting whole afternoon until my programme manager appear and briefed me.. after that rotting continues... i went to the library to rot.. took a dsta magazine to read.. luckily still got one interesting article about mental model.. maybe next post write more about it..
haiz.. it will be another rotting day tml... xian xian xian... life is boring...

i love this song

2007-06-23T00:55:00.001+08:00

i love this song so much..
dunnoe why.. listening to it calms my heart down...
after a day of tiring socialising, training and meeting with this world...
back in my house, listening to this song is the best reward for me...
this period of my life is a transition state..
the old type of lifestyle is over.. and the new one is yet to come...
i dunnoe wat to expect of my life.. and now.. only can enjoy as much as i can..
training tabletennis as hard as i can.. since after i start working.. i won't be able to train le...
i feel like tabletennis had become my gf... my best companion...
dunnoe wat life would be after i start work.. i won't have much time for my "gf" le..
haha!!

i will be fine 吴艾伦

2007-06-22T01:50:00.000+08:00

so i will mind 整个夜晚
你不在身边怎么晚安？
not afraid 在晚风里等待
看那回忆偷偷摇摆

so i will mind 半个夜晚
听一颗心陪我发呆
not afraid 在晚风里等待
看那回忆偷偷摇摆

我知道你不在
我可以学着对你不依赖
记忆里温柔的你
好靠近我可以独立爱着你
我知道爱存在
我的心里没有模糊地带
那麦田里的阳光
和我们熟悉的风
i will be fine

back from genting!!

2007-06-17T00:14:00.000+08:00

this trip to genting tried the free fall at last!! and the superman...
i was so giddy... even now i am still feeling giddy! haha!! weak la!

completed my degree finally

2007-06-08T03:19:00.000+08:00

i have completed my degree finally with a 2nd upper honours...
haha!!!!!!
feel very happy..
but not realli that happy..
becos i feel that i have not realli worked very hard to deserve these results..
feels like ntu anyhow moderate until i get 2nd upper
haha!!!
so i shall get on to the next stage of life.. working!!
hopefully i can get use to it... jiayou!!!

2007-06-05T02:24:00.000+08:00

i accepted dsta's offer in the end...
hopefully they will reply me soon.. and i can start work on 1st july!!
working life... another stage of my life... and i wonder wat will working life be like...
i will miss the life in NTU.. in hall6...
haiz... but i must still work hard for my future... my life...
will i still have time to train table tennis? hopefully ba...
i have been deproving so much.. and those sec sch and jc kids are all getting better.. it seems like i am drifting farther and further away from my table tennis dreams...
i will still carry on!! jiayou!! i do not have anything now.. wat left in me is only determination...
the nv say die, nv give up attitude.. i shall draft out a weekly schedule for myself once dsta's employment is confirmed...

totally immersed

2007-05-29T01:59:00.000+08:00

after watching the 超级星光大道, a taiwan singing competition, i am totally immersed in a song by a challenger call 吴艾伦。。。 the song she had written is called "i will be fine"...
watch it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mfWuNmSI_4
this song is so soothing.. after listening, i am realli addicted to this song...

tiring but fun training!

2007-05-25T01:44:00.000+08:00

have been training table tennis intensively these 2 days.. multi ball make my leg move again!!
but still a bit lazy..
hope to increase the intensity slowly.. then my leg will be willing to move le!!
jiayou!!

sad sad..

2007-05-22T22:52:00.002+08:00

kenna rejected by company.. not even shortlisted for interview.. so sad..
then todae we kenna trashed by sports sch 1-4... everyone was not in form..
think champion is very difficult le... xian xian..

it's so hard being a coach

2007-05-19T23:47:00.000+08:00

i felt so sad when i realized my players do not have the heart to improve, and challenge their limits..
i felt so sad when my players do not trust me..
i felt so sad i do not have enough time for my players..
i felt so sad to coach players who do not appreciate my coaching..
i felt so sad when i feel my player has a lot more to learn and a lot of room for improvement.. but she refuse to learn.. and reject my coaching..
coaching is such a difficult job... when u put all ur heart in.. wasted so much effort... and the player just don't have the heart and determination to improve.. wat can u do? force her to train? scold her? i am just a coach.. not a father.. i do not have the rights..
when they do not wan to improve themselves.. wat can u do? can only see all ur efforts go into the dustbin... why??
why do i have to endure all these... it not say i am paid a lot.. if i am paid $40 per hour.. the usual rates.. i do mind wat the players wan to do.. as long as i get my money.. but i am not doing all these for the sake of money... my only wish is they improve... ... wat a difficult wish... even more difficult than i myself aiming for nationals champion..
anyway i have tried my best.. no regrets...
i shall be a complete player.. not a coach anymore..
jia you!! i can do it!

bad mood...

2007-05-17T02:04:00.000+08:00

i tink this bad mood will last until i got a job...
feeling of being unemployed is damm xian...
and yet today someone is late for training... and chat and chat during my training..
if not serious during training might as well don't train..
not serious also won't improve..
train for wat?
wan to train is wan to improve rite...
wasting everybody time... can't tolerate this...
to that person: wan to improve pls be serious... and don't be late anymore... thank you...

joke of the year!

2007-05-15T00:30:00.000+08:00

last sun when i was umpiring lian he zao bao cup.. i made a very very super duper stupid mistake!!
during the 1 min interval, players go back to their coaches for advices.. then after 1 min is up, i went up to the players to pull them back...
who noes, i pulled the wrong player back!! that player is not umpired by me de! is zhengting's player!! and i still flashed my stopwatch at her face!! saying "time time time!!!"... then she looked so blur... saying "for who??"... damm paisay!!!
i tink this will become the joke of the year for the umpires... damm paisay....

i nid training!!!

2007-05-12T02:13:00.000+08:00

i nid training! i nid training! i nid training!!!!!!!

2007-05-05T23:02:00.000+08:00

todae was a tired but funny day..
i woke up at 12.30pm.. relax a while then went to sintien to change my rubber..
have been trying all sorts of rubber on my new tabletennis blade.. but still not very sucecssful..
i changed sriver and then went to sunsports to train..
in the end.. sriver with my new blade still doesn't suit me...
then..... the funny part comes..
fabian took my blade and tried.. and i took his blade to try!! and bingo!! he likes my bat and i like his bat!!! and immediately, we exchanged bat!!!
omg.. that is so..... funny!!!
after the training.. it was like 8.30pm... we decide to go Plaza Sing to eat dinner.. they took bus while i ride my bike...
and in the end, i hollanded!! and ended up in china town!! wat the heck!! but luckily i managed to reach plaza singapura... however, i left my cash card in my cash card unit when i went to meet them... and my cash card was stolen when i return to my bike... it was the 2nd time i left my cash card on my bike.. and the 2nd time it was stolen!! damm DL!!!
haiz...

Finally ORDed!!

2007-05-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

finally my exam is over! and i moved out of hostel back to home...
goodbye to my 4 years in NTU and hall6... thanx hall6 for giving me such a good time in NTU...
i will miss hall life.. i will miss everyone...

2 more days to ORD!!!

2007-05-02T02:05:00.000+08:00

2 more days and it will be end of my student life..
2 more days comes probably the last exam of my life..
but i already ord mood..
totally cannot study...
haiz...
ORD lor!!!!

2007-04-15T04:23:00.000+08:00

4.23am... and i can't fall asleep.. haiz.. wat's happening.. there isn't one day i can sleep earlier than 3.30am...
i am not tired at all.. but i noe i nid to sleep.. or else in the day time, i won't have the energy to stay fully awake to study...
i tink i am doomed... not mood to study.. this sem's exam dunnoe how to handle.. last sem le... i noe if i got all A, got chance to jump to 2nd upper.. but i am still slacking..
i felt that i have lost self control over myself.. many things i noe i shouldn't do, but i still do...
haiz... where's my determination and fighting spirit??

2007-04-06T00:54:00.000+08:00

suddenly know my best fren henry going to usa to study for 1.5 years.. feeling so sad...
haiz.. however, wish him good luck!! and enjoy the life there!!

2007-04-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

i am here to show off my unbeatable records in the joola leageage!
my team-- Shing Wah had played 5 matches till now.. out of the 5, i've only played in 3 of the matches. However, i remain unbeaten till now! haha!!
The best match of my previous match! i paired doubles with our ex-national team player zhang tai yong! realli is power xia! we trashed our opponent by 3-0.. each game conciding only 5,6 points.. pairing doubles with him is realli shiok! no nid to worry about lousy placement.. cos even opponent attack, he is able to attack back! so in the end, we won safsa 5-0.. we are the first team to win them 5-0.. haha!

sunsports lost to safra 4-1.. so i guess in the first half, shing wah will rank second if we win the last team match..

looking forward to the 2nd half.. but i might be kicked off the team as i heard they will be pulling hongbin into the team.. nvm.. if they got champion, i will just go eat the big meal with them! haha!!

隐形的翅膀

2007-04-02T03:25:00.000+08:00

每一次都在徘徊孤单中坚强
每一次就算很受伤也不闪泪光
我知道我一直有双隐形的翅膀
带我飞, 飞过绝望

不去想他们拥有美丽的太阳
我看见每天的夕阳也会有变化
我知道我一直有双隐形的翅膀
带我飞, 给我希望

我终于看到所有梦想都开花
追逐的年轻歌声多嘹亮
我终于翱翔用心凝望不害怕
哪里会有风就飞多远吧

隐形的翅膀让梦恒久比天长
留一个愿望让自己想象

boring 25th birthday

2007-03-31T23:13:00.000+08:00

todae so xian.. basically sleep sleep and sleep...
11am wake up.. then slack a while.. and wait for rain to stop at 1.30pm... went jurong point to collect spectacles.. played a while arcade.. cut my hair... bought a seafood combo at long john.. bought a packet of instant noodles.. then went back to hall..

then ate my lunch while watching hua yang shao nian shao nv... then studied a while.. like half an hour.. then fell asleep at 4.30pm.. slept all the way to 9.30pm

haiz.. lonely plus boring birthday

25 years old lor!! yeah!!

2007-03-31T03:28:00.000+08:00

happi birthday to me
happi birthday to me,
happi birthday to meee...
happy birthday to me!!
yeah!!
my 25 years old birthday one person in hostel.. play game.. study.. watch drama and sleep... so exciting...
hai.zzzz....

2007-03-31T03:12:00.000+08:00

finally i went to make replacement for my lost ic and driving license todae.. it was a breeze!! only 20min for ic.. and 5min for driving license as there is totally no queue.. however this caused me $125.. lost again $300 le.. better be careful...
then shun bian went to sim lim square to buy controller for my pc to play virtual tennis 3..
omg.. after i reach hall and ate dinner, i spent the whole nite playing virtual tennis 3... my controller is great! the game is great! i tink my project cannot finish also will be damm great!!

my room now got lots of scary insects.. big and small flying around.. damm irritating..
and scary... a lot of them are trapped under my cups and containers le.. but still a lot crawling and flying.. idiot man!! lucky i am mentally prepared.. this morning i wear contact lenses halfway then i turned my head, saw a cat in my room!! and i screamed! so paisay.. lucky i tink neighbours all not in room le.. i wasn't the least prepared lor.. suddenly a cat appear like that.. realli can scare my nerve out..

haiz.. shall go back to my studies le.. gd nite!

outdated post

2007-03-26T00:11:00.000+08:00

finally found some time to update this blog..
actually i am very very happi with our c girls!
u all done me proud..
although we lost to plmgss 5-0, but i can see ur fighting spirit and sportsmanship..
sportsmanship is to play every point as if the score is 0-0.. respect urself, respect ur opponent, respect the sports..
i've not waste my effort persuading dan to let tania and cheryl play..
hopefully u all can maintain this spirit all the way...
i'll stop coaching u all until my exams are over in may.. so in the mean time.. still train hard!!! hopefully i can persuade zheng ting to go down every training...
but if i am not there, u all can train with zeng jia! her standard is as high as zt and me! wahahaha!!!
hopefully u all become good frens with her.. and hopefully u all can learn something from her..
try to mix well with her, teach her english.. or wat... get her into the team also..
that's my last words! i will be going to bi guan xiu lian for exam!!
good luck for gess match!

2007-03-22T01:41:00.000+08:00

my table tennis realli deteriorate until very jialat.. now only can play doubles le..
as a supporting player..
i can only feel that my ability to observe and change according to atmosphere and opponent is improving.. skill wise.. realli cannot..
so happy that jiansheng and me's double can win yanzhen and peixin..
although they are girls.. but still they are from the national team...
winning them gave me a boost of confidence!!
my fitness is realli dropping damm fast..
nid to buck up le...
life.... haiz...

葬花吟

2007-03-19T20:41:00.000+08:00

花谢花飞飞满天,
红消香断有谁怜?
游丝软系飘春榭,
落絮轻沾扑绣帘.
一年三百六十日,
风刀霜剑严相逼.
明媚鲜妍能几时,
一朝漂泊难寻觅.
花开易见落难寻,
阶前愁煞葬花人.
独倚花锄偷洒泪,
洒上空枝见血痕.
愿奴胁下生双翼,
随花飞到天尽头.
天尽头,
何处有香丘!
未若锦囊收艳骨,
一杯净土掩风流.
质本洁来还洁去,
强于污淖陷渠沟.
尔今死去侬收葬,
未卜侬身何日丧.
侬今葬花人笑痴,
他年葬侬知是谁?
天尽头,
何处有香丘!
试看春残花渐落,
便是红颜老死时.
一朝春尽红颜老,
花落人亡两不知!

FYP...

2007-03-19T02:06:00.000+08:00

haiz...
just edited my FYP final report..
references only got 8...
and worst thing is.. appendix got 100 pages..
while my report only got 50 pages
total 150 pages..
wih 2/3 of appendix..
wth...

wat to do? if remove all appendix then will be very bad..
if include all.. also funny..
why everything i do also doesn't seem rite nowadays...
from table tennis to studies to personal life...
realli realli damm pek chek...

now is 2.13am.. i feel like riding my motor to east coast park...
so long nv enjoy the sea breeze... and the stars and the moon... and the sea... and the sky...
i felt i've been further and further from nature.. from myself..
i am not beng myself.. since all of good frens are attached.. left me alone only...
haiz... life is so stupid..
at my age, everyone is chionging.. trying to get a good job..
those with job trying very hard to perform and get promoted.. and fight for their ambitions, earn their first million.. and yet.. i am here.. like an idiot...
IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-18T22:13:00.000+08:00

i am tired.. i am scared... i am empty...
i wish i have not existed in this world..
watever i do seemed to be wrong...
watever going to happen also seemed to be bad..
i dunno how to live on...
i just wanna sleep..
i just wanna disappear into the sea...

riding at nite after rain is damm cold...

2007-03-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

it's realli damm cold lor! and it's the first time i ride until my bike run out of petrol in the middle of PIE... lucky i am riding on the left lane!!!!! and i got my reserve tank to last me to the petrol station..
it's realli damm cold.. cold until i am shivering...
terrible.. next time to ride at nite, must remember to wear jacket le...

why am i so stupid........

2007-03-12T00:06:00.000+08:00

todae did a stupidest thing... used the spungee cord to tie my bag behind my motorbike.. and the bag slide down onto the road.. and i only realised it when i reach my destination..
in the end, everything is gone.. including handphone, wallet with all my important document.. ic, driving license, mastercard.. etc... and cash.... and my sd card.. and my lecture notes...
then i lost in competition... and i stepped onto pple's pingpong ball..
realli is wth...
feel so tired.. and helpless...
lucky my handphone don't have tammy video sort of things inside.. only got tania and cheryl's video!
haha!!
in life, shit happens.. this is wat bojian tell me... quoted from forrest gump...
that's realli a nice nice novel.. the best english novel i had read...
but i am not forrest gump... i hope i can be like him... too bad i am not...

going to make a police report only tml.. i tink the policeman also will laugh at me.. how idiotic i can be... shit happens.. it realli does...

yes!!! finally passed my class2B!!!!

2007-03-01T13:40:00.000+08:00

finally got my motorbike riding license!!
yeah!!!! but must constantly remind myself to be a safe rider on road..

the story of the 3 monks

2007-02-25T23:25:00.000+08:00

1 day on bus, i suddenly thot of this story that i heard when i was very very young...

once upon the time, there is a monk. he found an old and empty temple on the hill.. so he decide to live in this temple.. every morning, he will carry water from the well downhill back to the temple.. everything is ok and life carries on for this monk...
then comes along this 2nd monk.. he also wanted to live in this temple.. and therefore, every morning, the 2 of them will carry water together using the 扁担.. (a pole with the pail hanging on the centre of the pole and both sides of the pole can be carried each by one monk on their shoulders) everything is ok.. and life carries on for these 2 monks..
then finally, one day, the 3rd monk comes along.. this time, 1st monk wanted the other 2 monks to carry water, 2nd monk wanted 1st monk and 3rd monk to carry water, and 3rd monk wanted the 1st and 2 monk to carry water... in the end, no monk wants to carry water... and all 3 of them died of thirst...

i suddenly realised i may be the 3rd monk... maybe 1 of the monks should leave the temple in search of a new temple... or maybe i am tinking too much..

歌曲：晴天雨歌手：tank 专辑：延长比赛

2007-02-24T19:02:00.000+08:00

你说你是雨天
而我是太阳耀眼
说我不适合出现在
你住的灰色世界
想晒干你的泪
却被你简单拒绝
在我手心里的温度
好想要分给你一点
我忽然期待天空能下一场雨
让我在冰冷的夜慢慢了解你
晴天雨天谁说不能想恋
我偏偏只想和你在一起
今天明天我都不想远离
我能够期待晴天下的雨
你说你不怕黑
一个人也无所谓
独自撑伞走过伤悲
不再和爱有关联
我想要带你飞
飞向彩虹的另一边
我们搬进幸福的里面
一直到永远的永远
我忽然期待天空能下一场雨
让我在冰冷的夜慢慢了解你
晴天雨天谁说不能想恋
我偏偏只想和你在一起
今天明天我都不想远离
我能够期待晴天下的雨

晴天雨天谁说只能对立
我偏偏只想和你在一起
美丽美丽好浪漫的晴天雨
我们的天空不再孤寂
晴天雨天谁说不能想恋
我偏偏只想和你在一起
今天明天我都不想远离
让我期待晴天下的雨
让我们的天空不再孤寂

weak and old am i...

2007-02-24T18:42:00.000+08:00

omg.. just an simple ippt.. and now i got muscle cramp all over..
realli is here cramp there cramp everywhere cramp cramp...
weak le... old le...
haiz..

omg... 1oV3

2007-02-24T01:29:00.000+08:00

i also dunno why..
suddenly i am in the mood to search for the novels that i have read during JC and army times..
those that touches me the most..
and after a long period of searching, i've found them all!!!

划风之吻 by 细雨游风
an online novel that i've read during JC time.. this is a 浪漫，轻快，又富科幻色彩的小说。it suits all young reader who likes romance, lame jokes, and magic... i've read all novels written by this author.. 素雅--another of his novel accompanied me through my army BMT times... it is another 科幻小说，setting is in a magical land... exact story.. i realli forgotten le.. another novel he had written is call 两只孔雀... this is another love story.. this time without magic.. but realli nice too!! and during my search, i found out that he had completed another novel recently!!!!! so happy!! after 4 years, i can enjoy his novel again le!!! yeah!!

悟空传 by 今何在
this novel accompanied me through my army days in School of Signal, Stagmont camp... my days in stagmont camp is the toughest days in my whole army life.. this novel realli gave me a lot of inspiration about wat is life... wat are dreams.. and love... a novel that make u tink a lot... inspired me a lot.. i realli do not know how to describe this novel... i can only tell u that this is the novel that touches me most out of all novels i have read from young till now... it is a story i can nv forget... i wish to read it again.. when i have time... during those days.. i used to hide beside my bed in camp to read this novel.. and cry to myself secretly... while my platoon mates are playing chess or cooking magi mee to eat... nicest novel i've ever read... but i don't know how other pple feel about this novel.. cos i thot not everyone noes how to appreciate it..... recently, the author released his new novel.. call 若星汉天空!! actually not very recent la.. maybe 3 years ago.. but i too long nv read le... so to me, it is recent!! haha!! i will read it!! definitely! maybe after i graduate and b4 i found a job! i love reading! i can lie on bed and read whole day!!

the 3rd novel i am going to recommend is 夜玫瑰 by 痞子蔡... this is the 3rd of 4th novel written by 痞子蔡... the one i like most!! i read it during the 3 months long holiday after my year1 exam in NTU... this novel realli re-lightened the feeling of love in me.. after reading it.. i am so desperate to look for love! haha!! 痞子蔡's novel nv let me down... i've read them all.. and i recommend them to everyone!! his website: http://www.jht.idv.tw/.. visit it to download and read all of his novels!!

all these 3 authors are online writers who post their creations online to share with everyone.. hope they continue to write more!! so that i can laze on my bed to read and read!! life inside their story is much much better than my own life... how i wish i can be the character in their novels.... .... dotz...

Think i will just post everything!! quite long though.. slowly read.. get ur tissue paper beside you...

2007-02-23T02:44:00.000+08:00

PART III

"slorr... lets meet..."

Without hesitation, I typed 'O-K'.

I am supposed to meet FlyNDance tonight, 8pm, at the entrance of Macdonalds, the one beside YMCA. that's the best time and place to meet a gal you have never met before, according to Tye, because they would have taken their dinner by that time which means we can simply go inside the Mc and have some fries and coke.

She will be wearing a whole set of coffee theme attire and I will be wearing my usual blues, this is our way of identification.

She told me she is not those 'cute gals' I may think she is, I said never mind, I am not Brad-Pitt either. then she told me she has long ago given up on this hope already.

"slorr... u r early..."

While I was idling, a gal tapped my shoulders from my back. Although I was already mentally prepared for anything that's gonna appear in front of me, I was still astonished by this gal who stood in front of me now.

if not for the coffee theme and that 'slorr', I would think she is only asking for directions because she is one of those chio buz that can only be found on Orchard Road, usually while I am crossing the road. Maybe I suffered from a serious concussion due to the heavy blow, my mind was extraordinarily calm.

"Had your dinner right?.. I think we shall go inside the Mc 1st..."

"You are pretty smart huh?... a good way to save money indeed..."

AIYA!~!... she knows me soooo well, I can only give her an innocent smile back. Since she's so pretty, I ordered 2 LARGE cokes, and even ordered TWO packets of fries.

"This time you treat, next time I'll let you treat..."

I m not falling for that, miss... but I m glad she mentioned 'next time'.

"slorr... r u disappointed when u saw me just now?.."

DISSAPPOINTED?... r u drunk?..

"why do you think I will be disappointed then?.."

"Because I told you I am not cute mah, so you must be quite disappointed when you saw me.."

She is making 0 sense, but I know she is just trying to hint that she's actually cute.

"Then why did you have to lie that you are not cute?"

"Slorr...I said I am not cute...I didn't say I am not pretty.."

#$%$##%^*&%$@!!!

"But you are also quite....decent looking what.. its not like what you described to me too.."

'DECENT'? a very vague word. to many gals, decent = boring.

one good thing is that she didn't lie to me about the fact that she is keeping long hair. She also has a fair complexion which reminds me of HL milk I take almost everyday.

It is now only that I found out she is from NUS Accountancy, and graduated from ACJC.

sitting in front of each other, we talk about many things. from her obsession with coffee to my hobby of watching movies in. Btw, she had completely shook off my misconception of 'if she is pretty, she is brainless'.

she appears to be an attractive gal, both physically and character wise, talking, smiling to me, occasionally being a little sarcastic and nasty.

its like a dream.

We left the Mc at around 10 pm. since its still early, I decided to send her home and fortunately, its just Ang Mo Kio, two MRT stops from mine. I would have a second thought if she's staying at Pasir Ris.

"slorr... congratulations.... u r officially permitted to date me from now on..."

She said this b4 the lift door closed. Back at home, I realized that I hadn't asked for her real name, maybe its the influence of that stoopid Tye.

Tye told me :

"never ask a pretty gal her name the 1st time u meet her, 'cos there are oredi too many wolves out there dying to know, so she will be more interested in you if u act bochap..."

Then y didn't she ask for mine? dun tell me there's a female version of Tye telling her not to?

it's again 1am. time to meet her in #NTU.

"hi!... slorr.. u tired?..."

Of 'cos I m tired after all the surprises she presented me, I would go straight for my bed if not for her. but y is she here also?...isn't she tired too?..

"long time no see.. how r u?.."

"slorr u siao ah?... 2 hours only leh.. miss me?..."

"A)yes.. B)of 'cos.. C)abuden...D)dying to see u...E)all of above.... answer is E..."

";:)..."

Seems like she is really tired, even the smiling face are yawning to me rite now.

"u wanna go for a movie tomorrow?.."

Maybe I should ask her now, while she is half asleep, hoping that she will blur-blurly click 'OK'.

"should be no problem... what show?..."

HOOOOORAY!!... I m cheering for her fatigue.

"we decide what show tomorrow... anyway what’s important is watch with who... not the show.."

Tye's fav line, I m just borrowing it.

";:)..."

"u should go sleep now lah..."

"wait one little while... u haven't tell me u tired or not?.."

"ok lah... a bit.... u leh?.."

"I m exhausted.... but have to say good night to u 1st...slorr.. if not I can't sleep.."

"me too...."

I can't believe I m doing this SILLY business rite now....

"ok I tell u what.... I count 1,2,3... then we log off together..."

"ok.... good night slorr..."

"same to u.."

"1...."

"2..."

"3.."

I never talk whenever I m inside a cinema, and now is the best time for my mouth to rest, so I spent the following 3 hours to admire this much-talked-about movie of the century, Titanic.

I m not a romantic person, so its perfectly understandable if I can't really appreciate this motion picture fully, except for those stunning special effects. But something stroke me when Jack said to Rose before he sank into the deep.....

"Rose, listen to me... listen....winning that ticket was the best thing that had happened to me...it brought me to u....and I m thankful, Rose....I m thankful...."

Suddenly I felt much fortunate than Jack, 'cos I dun have to risk my life to board Titanic, all I have to do is to switch on my PC every night.

But he's one lucky guy too, 'cos he knows how to draw, and just look at how slowly he was drawing Rose, that made me blame myself for the lack of this talent. But to her, this movie wasn’t just about drawings or special effects.

I noticed that packet of tissue paper she was holding in her hand. and just when Rose said:" I promise... I will never let go, Jack... I’ll never let go.."

She opened up her sling bag and here comes the reserve handkerchief. Damn that Celine Dion, y on earth did she had to sing that "MY HEART WILL GO ON" at the end of the show, for all the female species inside the theater, its like "MY TEARS WILL ALSO GO ON"

"Ok... movie ended... lets go...."

I stood up, speak to her gently, worried that every single word I breath out might just crush Onto her, and kill her. she continued to sit on the position, looked at me with her beautiful eyes that just came back from a swim. after a while, she said...

"slorr.... movie ended..... but life goes on.. m I rite?..."

I nodded my head... but I just wished somebody might give me some clue of what she was saying. Finally we managed to leave Orchard Cineplex, since its still early, we decided to take a walk down the street.

along the way, she seems unusually quiet. so I guess Tye was rite about the 'TITANIC FLU', he said that gals often got so mentally distressed after watching this show, and it is the best time to launch an emotional attack on her, that’s y Tye had watch Titanic for over 5 times roughly. her eyes were focussed on the path or the crowds but I know her mind was still left on Titanic, sinking with her, waiting for somebody to pull her up.

I just kept my mouth shut 'cos I know I m not a good swimmer. we walked to Plaza Singapura. suddenly she stopped in front of a Christian Dior counter.

"slorr.. have u read a novel called 'fragrance'?..."

"err.. nope.... y do u ask?..."

"look at this 'DOLCE VITA' from Christian Dior... its what the guy bought for her girlfriend in the story on her birthday....and he told her 'DOLCE VITA' is French, meaning 'SWEET TIMES'..."

She pointed to a bottle of perfume at the counter, but I was more interested at the price tag around the neck of the bottle.

"oh... izzit?..."

"slorr... then do u consider today as 'sweet times'...?"

"at first I do... but some pts are deducted since u started crying..."

"that means it can only be considered a little bit sweet, I’ll buy the small bottle then..."

I insisted to pay for the perfume as her b-dae present from me since I know her birthday is coming soon, this kinda saves me a lot of trouble of finding a present for her. luckily its just perfume, I would have to pawn my underwear if that guy in the story gives her girlfriend diamond or gold bar."

"r u hungry?.... wanna sit down and have something?..."

"I dun have appetite... what about u?.."

"you eat, I eat...."

Her eyes are red again...... I m such a fool. finally got away from the noisy crowd at the MRT station, walking on one of the streets of AMK Ave 6. contrastingly, its so quiet now that I even can hear the rhythm of her heartbeat.

"slorr... do u know what's the correct way of applying perfume?"

I shook my head. in fact, I had never used a perfume or cologne before, medicated oil maybe.

"1st u apply some behind ur ears... then ur neck and wrists...after that spray some onto the air, then walk through it..."

"sure or not?... in that case this little bottle wont even be able to last u for 3 days...."

"slorr.. shall we try?..."

"'we'?... u go ahead... I m a MAN..."

She opened up that DOLCE VITA...behind her ears, neck then the wrist she applied some... and she really did spray some onto the air!!...

WABIANGZ!!.. expensive leh!... finally she stretched out her hands... facing up... like enjoying the raindrops falling on her face...

"hahaha...."

"slorr... this is so fun!.... now its ur turn...."

She went through the same procedures with me and I can feel the coldness of her fingers. maybe its the perfume... I guess.

"slorr... get ready... I m going to spray!!..."

I imitated her.. face up...and walked through my 1st perfume rain.

"slorr...lets have another round!!..."

" WHAT!!... serious?.."

My money isn't easy to come by leh!!.... b4 I can collect the broken pieces of my heart, she had walked through her second round. She was even more excited this time, hoping around, like her nick.... a flying and dancing butterfly. late night of AMK, the streets smells unusually nicer rite now until we finished the whole of that DOLCE VITA.

"DOLCE VITA is exhausted... I guess this sweet time shall end now too....slorr.. I’ll go up now.... tonight 1am. I wont be online, and u r not to do so too..."

"huh?....but why?...."

"go online at 12pm tomorrow.. u will know....remember... only 12pm..."

She turned and walked into the lift... at the same time... I saw an obvious pink patch behind her neck... which is visible only now becos she tied her hair. I looked up towards her window on the 4th floor from below, but it never light up.

I switched off the light in my room... engulfed in the absolute darkness... 'cos I wished to have the same kind of feeling as her right now... I realised in complete darkness... the easiest mood one gets... is loneliness.. she must be lonely rite now... half asleep..

I almost can see a beautiful butterfly.. turning to ashes amidst the sea of flame... and that patch behind her neck.. from pink it became red... and then burgundy.. slowly.. it swallowed me.... was it the cause of that can of beer just now?...

suddenly I felt cold... and shaky.. and that coolness seemed to have come straight from my heart... the rate of my heartbeat was an exponential function of time as it got closer to 1am...

USE A DIFFERENT NICK!!...

checked .. she isn't there.... my heart was beating fast... but the temp remained below healthy level........

-=~@~=-

Finally its 12 pm, excited as I was, logged on the net, yet there was still no sign of FlyNDance. But there’s a mail from her......

Dear slorr,

At first I thought it will be easier for me to settle down in the darkness... recollecting memories we have shared... but all I felt was loneliness...... can u feel it too?...

I still can't change the habit of logging on at 1am... so I used a different nick to sneak into #NTU... u dun blame me right?... u weren’t there... should I feel glad for ur obedience?.... U said both of us belonged to TYPE 2... the foolish type...maybe u r right!... 'cos I really do admire those who dares to fight for their desires... I stroke my hair gently when u said that I m leaving the world... and a few strands of hair fell..... No!... doctor told me its not a terminal disease... and doctor aren't supposed to lie!!?...I still can live like a normal person...

BUT CAN I?..

FlyNDance... is it really something I wont be able to do?... After the 1st meeting with u at Mac... I started to realise that u r not only a virtual being living in the cyberspace... in reality u r strong, gentle and sensitive.... I can feel the defense Wall of my heart is slowly breaking apart.... I m defeated...

I tied my hair today.. 'cos my fren told me that I look more attractive this way...

I want u to remember my face as it is today... 'cos after today... everything may change.... But why didn't u ask for my real name? ..that’s why I never asked for urs...

I am a girl mah..... do you realized how I wish to have something more than a nick to take along with me? ...Slorr... thank you for the DOLCE VITA. Finally got a taste of what sweet times are like... but I am really sorry.

??.I just couldn’t bear to say goodbye.....

Since it started from a mail.... it should end with a mail too.... Its been 3 months and 2 days since the very first mail... not a very long time but it isn't short either.... our story began from me... and I will end it.

Maybe its what you said... 'Internet is fast and convenient, but it isn't perfect'.... I can send you my thoughts right away... but not my tears...

It’s about 5.30am now.... time to go.... by the time you receive this mail...

I would be trying to settle down somewhere else.... I don't know....

Good Bye

With lotsa love,

FlyNDance

After reading her mail, I felt as if I had just experienced a roller-coaster ride which almost derailed. She had shown me the other side of her, soft and sensitive.

For a couple of months, I was trying to hypnotizes myself, to suppress my feelings whenever I started to think about her again. Perpetually I was telling myself, she is just one virtual character that fly and dance in the net, but never in the real world. I became a fugitive, escaping from my PC, escaping from the Internet and anything that has to do with coffee. Hide myself behind the piles of lecture notes, behind the crowd of people, trying to get rid of this thought of missing something in life.

But I failed. I found out that its not that I don't miss her, its just that I had forgotten the passion that always comes along when you are having something hanging on your mind all the time. Its like I cannot breathe, it�fs just that I had forgotten the fact that I have been breathing in and out for the past 19 years.

I can hold my breath for a while, but not forever.

I have to find her!

"Err... I am looking for ... er..FlyNDance...."

"HUH??..."

'Huh', this is the exact word I was expecting from her.

She seems to be FlyNDance's elder sister, 20++, looked quite a beauty too even without any makeup. But of course, still can't be compared with her. I explained to her my purpose for knocking on the door and told her that I am no stalker whom she might think I am.

Surprisingly when I told her my nick, Slorr, she appeared to be rather excited and quickly she scribbled something on a small piece of paper and handed it to me.

"You should go and see her. SGH, Room 3-425."

-=~@~=-

This is the first time I've ever stepped into the Singapore General Hospital. It's a dust-free space, everything looked so clean, tidy and arranged.

But I don't like the feeling it gave me... I entered room 3-425, she was there, in a deep sleep. I stood by her, watching.

Her hair was still as long as before, laying across the soft, white pillow.

Her face looked roundish now, I know it's the side-effect of the medicine. And the pinkish-red patch that was on her neck, had spread to her face appearing in a shape of a butterfly.

Nevertheless, she was still the most beautiful butterfly I've ever seen.

Her eyelashes twitched slightly, she must be dreaming, what's that in her dream?

McDonald's fries and coke? Sinking Titanic? Or the rain at AMK Ave 6? The room was getting darker as the clock approaches 6pm.

I wanted to switch on the light. I hate to see her lying lonely under the shadow of a patient's room.

But I am worried that her dreams might be disturbed by the sudden light rays. While I was in a dilemma, her eyes opened slowly. Her eyes were wide on me, then she turned away suddenly.

I can only see her back at this moment. She lost weight. After a long time, she turned to face me again, rubbed her eyes and smiled....

"Slorr, you are here!"

"Yes, nice weather today, isn't it?"

"Ya lor, sky also very chio today? Right? Heehee.."

SKY VERY CHIO...

I can still remember this was the conversation we had in one of our #NTU meetings."

But she didn't realize that it's raining today.

"Slorr, why are you standing there. Sit down."

Thanks for reminding me. I just found out that my legs were numbed due to the several hours of standing.

"Slorr, you lost weight."

ME? I thought I should be the one who's telling this to her!?

"Slorr, you hungry? Had your lunch? Food here isn't so good. That's why patients like me always slim down a bit. Apart from that, it's quite ok. But sometimes I feel really bored without a PC here to talk to you.."

"Slorr, how's your results? Sure did very well right?"

WAIT A MINUTE! You are the one who's lying on bed right now not me! Yet, I had nothing to ask her actually.

Because I was there to see her, not to find out the answers to those questions. Maybe now its the time for me to utter some touching lines like those in a movie.

But I am not a Romantic person... moreover...

Movies are fiction.

Life isn't.

-=~@~=-

I just wished that she could leave this place as soon as possible back to AMK Ave 6, back to NUS, back to where she belonged. And I promised she won't be alone anymore, because I will always be there.

After a while, her mum was here to see her. Around the age of 50, slightly overweight. Other than the cheerful smile, she didn't really remind me of FlyNDance.

"Err, I think i've gotta go now. Bye bye auntie."

"You....You..."

She sat up straight in a sudden, like if she'd experienced a tremendous shock.

"I'll be here again tomorrow.. and the day after tomorrow... until you leave this place..."

Before I went back home, I went to Plaza Singapura again to buy that Christian Dior Dolce Vita... and I've got the biggest bottle this time, that she can even swim in it.

I try not to close my eyes that night, I want to go to her as soon as the first sun ray shoots into my room....

"Slorr.. you are here.. i've been waiting for you for a long time..."

"Had a good night's rest?..."

"Oh... I didn't allow myself to fall into a deep sleep because I know you won't wake me up when your here."

"Then you should take a rest now."

"Err, since you are here already, I don't think I can..."

I gave her the Dolce Vita, and we'd agreed that we would dance in the rain in front of SGH main entrance the day she's discharged.

I dare not look straight at her, because there's a butterfly on her face.

It was only last night before I leave SGH that I found out she's suffering from an illness called ERYSIPELAS. What the clergymen would term the BUTTERFLY DISEASE...

But what I like is the coffee butterfly that is able to dance around freely not that pinkish-red butterfly that settled on her pale complexion. Moreover, what's a butterfly if it can't fly?

"Slorr, why are you looking at me and not talking?"

I don't know, because I noticed that she's getting weaker physically. I had a bad feeling about this.

"Slorr, I am thirsty, can you get me a drink?"

I am not leaving her at this moment. I can still remember a movie about this guy who went all the way to get red bean soup for his girlfriend who's on sickbed and to find her lying silently on the white bedsheet when he came back... never to wake up again...

"Are you trying to get rid of me, like what's in that movie?"

"Slorr, movie is movie, life is life..."

MOVIE? LIFE?....

"But I thought you just had a drink? Anyway, so what can I get for you?"

"Ultimate Ice Blended!!"

This is a hospital leh!! Did she think I can find Coffee Bean everywhere on this island? Like McDonalds, what's more coffee wasn't suitable for her at that time.

"Err... coffee isn't good for health, order something else, ok?

"So you know coffee isn't good for the body too. Then you should cut down on your intake also, ok?"

I saw her smile appearing and there's a shine in her eyes. I realized that she's just trying to tell me not to drink too much coffee in the future.

My heart seemed to have suffered from a heavy blow.

This is not good. A taste of pH5 has started to fill my nose. If this is not going to stop, tears might be the next thing that appears in front of her.

I recalled the chapter on reservoir and dam in physics textbook. Quickly applied the knowledge on myself. Even if it's just a few droplets.

"Ok, I promise, I'll try my best."

"And try to sleep earlier in the future and don't skip breakfast..."

"It's important to you and don't be too obsessed with blue. It makes you look troubled and....."

This didn't sound good. It's like giving the final instructions before she. I can't bear to let her continue.

"Ok ok, I'll go get you a drink right away."

"Slorr, is the machine far away? If it is, then its ok, I don't want it anymore."

From my mental calculation, men would take 67 steps while women would take 85 steps to reach the vending machine right at that corner. Plus the time taken to purchase, average would take a total of 1.8 to 2.1 minutes. Not very far.

"Quite near."

"Slorr, come back quick. I don't want to be alone for too long... I hate that feeling."

I didn't answer her. I just increased my pace....

*************************

"Eh... its late already... go to sleep..", my mum was nagging at me again.

"Ok ok.... 10 more minutes..."

Until today, FlyNDance had left for more than 2 mths.

I still logged on at 1 am every night, but onto channel DOLCE-VITA which was created by myself, with Slorr and FlyNDance being the only 2 nicks inside, for 10 minutes.

Although she won't be able to fly and dance in real life anymore, but I still wish that she could continue to do so in the virtual world.

Even Tye has given up on me...

"She's gone, why are you still doing this? For what?!!"

Yet, even if that's the case, I can't allow her soul to be left at the corner of loneliness. Because she said she hated the feeling of being alone.

I still remember there was a heavy downpour on that day. When I reached SGH they told me... A coffee butterfly flew away from her room at around 1 am last night....

After that... I can't remember...

I just knew that I stood at the bus-stop for a whole day and I was all wet because of the rain. Even my face.

I've been trying hard not to think of her over these 2 months. I've been hoping that her face won't appear in my mind every moment that I breathe, but it's like hoping that the sky isn't blue; the grass isn't green; the stars do not twinkle at night...

Basically, I was hoping for something impossible to happen. I can't believe that I am of Type 2, even in real life.

Did I cry?.. NO WAY!..

I said it before, I am not a romantic person, and this may be due to the deficiency in the hormones that constitutes emotions. Whenever I had the feeling of pH5, I'll browse through those 'FWDS:jokes...' Attention will then be shifted by those dim-wit, low-class jokes...

So now everything is back to the way it was before I met her 9 mths ago.

Tye is still flirting around, and I am still the old decent=dull me. But I've stopped taking coffee and beer.

"Xing ah, is this for you?"

My mum handed me a letter she picked up in the mailbox this morning.

I was surprised when I saw 'To:slorr...' written on the envelope.

That's for me I guess. I opened it up, there was a piece of writing inside, and another coffee envelope.

Slorr,

I am FlyNDance's sister, I think this is how you are addressing her. I am sorry that I do not know your real name, although we'd met before.

When I was packing her stuffs a few days ago, I found this letter with your name and address already written on it.

So I posted it to you, because I believe this is what my sister intended to do.

Best wishes,

Xiao Wen

The letter was sent 3 days ago, and there was another:

'To:slorr...'

Followed by my home address written on the coffee envelope. But this handwriting was a lot nicer and the words seemed to be moving swiftly...like in a joyful dance.

I have no time to figure out how she has gotten my home address. Did I give her in one of my mails?

I tried to control my trembling hands, slowly, I opened up the envelope. I found a photo, and a half of a movie ticket inside.

Apart from these, there was a blue letter... with the familiar DOLCE VITA smell on it. The photo showed her, standing on a piece of grassland, wearing the same coffee theme attire on our first meeting at McDonalds.

Something was written at the back of it....

Dear slorr,

Coffee represents Pisces.. that's me. Blue represents Sagitarius.. that's you. A blue letter inside a coffeee envelope.... know what I mean?

Seeing me, do you feel like drinking coffee now? Stop drooling!

FlyNDance

I smiled.... bitterly. The contents of the blue letter is simple:

If I have one more day to live, I want to be your girlfriend. Do I have one more day? No. Too bad. I can't be your girlfriend... not in this life.

If I have wings, I want to fly down from the paradise just to see you. Do I have wings? No. Sadly. I can never see you again.

If all the water are drawn out of the bath-tub, but it still can't put off the flame of love btw us. Can all the water in a bath-tub be drawn off? Can.

So yes. I LOVE YOU.

FlyNDance

My chest was torn apart... tears broke through the dam I constructed a long time go in a jiffy.

As proud, as emotionless as I was, I can't pull back the salty wetness that's on the whole of my face anymore.

She has changed my 'little theory' and gotten back what I'd owed her... tears for 2 months....

-=~@~=-

Titanic has won 11 awards in the Oscar, including best picture.

Yet, Rose wasn't the best actress under that category. So if it's sad in a movie, it may not be so fortunate too in real life. And in reality, should Jack hold on to Rose and 'Never let go?'

Maybe he shouldn't be worried about this. 'Cos that beautiful coffee butterfly will continue to fly and dance in his heart.. forever...'

~THE END~

part 2 of the story

2007-02-22T21:58:00.000+08:00

PART II

"slorr... what a coincidence ahh..."

"yeh... I m not late."

"ya lor... so qiao.."

Gals are weird, I thought we already had an arrangement, why do I have to pretend that its not.

They must have watched too many movies, and like to think that guys they met due to the thing called 'fate' is the best thing that can happen to their love life.

"slorr.... u talking nonsense lah..."

"NONSENSE??? ok, let me tell u what nonsense... Summer's beach, the guy must be good at running, with broad shoulders, dark complexion with a tint of redness, sparkling eyes and loud laughter.

Then he will call out loud the name of the gal, running towards her, carry her and spin 3 rounds anticlockwisely."

"slorr.... u siao liaoz ahh??"

"I siao? Ok...let's change a location then. Deep in the mountains, the guy must have long hair, gotta have the look of an artist, carries a sketching stand, a few pieces of drawings, and u can see birds stop over at his side, admiring his work. and there will be a gal whose the model....most probably naked."

"slorr.. but these all very romantic mah..."

"ROMANTIC?? hello miss... romance only survive in novels and movies.

In real life, the guy on the beach may step onto broken glass or the gal may be too heavy which tore his arm muscles.

Birds may just clear their waste on top of the guy in the mountains, or he might get a thrashing from the gal because he comments on the excess fats around the waist and hips."

"slorr... u hate romance??.."

"I hate romance? nope, I m just using my knowledge of statistic to get a deduction, that guys must be TALL to be romantic, not HANDSOME!!! some love novels even portrayed the guy as normal looking, but no-one dares to challenge the height of him! I object....because I m not tall."

"slorr.... objection overruled..."

I think I am really outstandingly bo liao, talking to her about these until noon.

"slorr... are u hungry?..."

"ya... u leh??...."

"yesh... guess its time for lunch...slorr.."

"then do u think we should....??"

"slorr... I m just asking... I dun intend to have lunch with u..."

"ok, good.. I m not romantic... neither are u."

I had lunch with Tye, we talk about the conversation with FlyNDance this morning.

"You moron...told her you are not romantic...you siao ah?....you have disgrace we man... how can you make such a big

mistake?....I...I..."

Tye grabbed a chicken wing with chopstick, and I can see the trembling of the hand and the wing.

"There are 3 'don'ts' in chasing a gal... one...don't forget to be romantic... two...don't be too honest... 3...don't be too stingy on the sugar in our speech... noticed number 1, you stupid??

"What rubbish is that? In mandarin we say 'nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai', you should know this..."

"This I know, but it has been a controversial topic over centuries. Women aren't really that...cheap... so why would they only falls for 'bad guys' like me??"

"That's because 'bad guys' are usually romantic... Those 'nice guys' are usually...dumdums...so she would rather choose a romantic 'bad guy' rather than any of those dumdums... in Maths we call this 2C1...understand? Dumdum.."

Oh, Tye is talking about Maths!! Now I understand. No wonder I have always been left on the shelf.

"In another words... gals wouldn't mind if you are not tall...if you are not handsome... they can bear with your inconsiderate acts...can forget your stupidity...but they can never forgive if you are not romantic..."

"Come on, this is so exaggerating."

"Hey...most women have a 'knot' for romance...just like most men have a 'knot' for virginity...to women they just can't understand how precious the thin layer of membrane is to men, same thing, men can't imagine how important women treats romance."

"This is bullshit! How come I've never heard of that."

"The key word is 'knot'...if u can untie it... fine.. but how many had actually succeeded in that... practically none..."

"Ok, fine. now I've done it... so what should I do to remedy the situation?"

"Face it...you are hopeless already... I promise you I'll have a drink with you when you and her are over..."

Mid-night. I am trying to concentrate on my Physics notes....

F = ma, v = u + at....

it's really a wonder that nature can be explained by just a few formulas and equations, and this we call science.

then why is astrology and palmistry being labeled as superstitious?

Science should only be one of the ways to explain truth, what can't be explained by Science, it doesn't necessary mean that's its unreal....

Close to 1am. Since I can't get anything into my head, I shall try my luck on net then, maybe she is there...

"slorr...u here"

"finally... good night to u..."

'FINALLY'? Strange word to use it here. What is she doing here at this hour? Must be feeling down again.

"yes... it is fate that brought me to u at this moment..."

I am trying very hard to convince her that I m a bit romantic.

"slorr... nothing to do with fate...I waited 4 u 4 one hour liaoz..."

"sure or not?.. for wat?.."

"talk to u mah...or else I can't sleep..."

"u sick izzit?... go see doctor lah..."

"slorr....let's continue our topic.. wat do u think of relationships began from internet?..."

Oh my god... how should I answer her now?

"it's.. it's very... romantic..."

Indeed I am not a good liar, even my words are shaking now.

"slorr... u bluffing... u not romantic one mah..."

GAME OVER!! I m finished! No choice but to drink with Tye.

"slorr.... u lagging?... or just daoing me?..."

"no... I m wondering y is the sky so chio tonight?.."

"nonono... dun try to shift the topic... slorr..."

Sigh...I give up...I asked for it myself.

"Actually I think relationships started from cyberspace is considered as ROMANTIC, 'coz romance gives pple an impression of unreal, and cyberspace is virtual."

"slorr....that's interesting.."

"surfers keep a safe distance from each other and usually 3 types of pple are produced in this way...

The 1st type.... The 1st type being those who present themselves on net with their 'secondary personality'. Usually all of us consists of multiple personalities, and in everyday life, what we present to the world is the 'primary personality', with the secondary one being suppressed, or maybe we don't even realised this other trait of us deep inside. So internet is the place where this side of us is revealed, both intentionally or without conscious knowledge."

"izzit true?... wat about 2nd type?"

"The 2nd type are those who will transform themselves into the kind of man/woman he/she would want to be. there's bound to be 1 or 2 characteristics that u particularly admire, too bad, sometimes these characteristics are just couldn’t be found in u. cyberspace is the perfect location for this transformation to occur."

"slorr.... u blowing cow izzit?.. type 3 leh?"

"I m not blowing cow, I read it from an article of TIMES mag!! type 3 will be those who transform themselves into characters which are impossible for them to become in real life. for example, if u r a gal, you may act as a man on net. you may even become BATMAN or SUPERMAN if u want."

"hmm.. that’s pretty amazing..."

"the 1st type is the 'faithful' type, 'cos its his own personality that is being presented on net.

the 2nd type is the 'foolish' type, 'cos he knows only how to admire others, always forgets his own strong pts.

the 3rd type is the 'pathetic' type, 'cos he is wishing 4 some impossible."

"slorr.... den u belong to wat type?... me leh?.."

"I dun wish to believe u r type 3, 'cos I m not. I crossed the possibility of type 1 'cos its too common, because I think u r special. being able to attract u, I think I m at least a bit special. So we belong to type 2."

"type2.... den who u wish to become?.. slorr.."

I certainly would like to become a person like Tye, humorous, romantic and eloquent, because these are wat I am lacking of.

"slorr.... wat about me?.."

"U?.. I dun know. U want to FLY and DANCE, probably that means u wish to fully enjoy ur youth while u can. but if this is something u wish yet u can't achieve, den there's 2 possibilities: 1, u r aging, 2, u r leaving the world."

I think I said something wrong, because she didn't sent me anymore msg after this. I began to blame myself for being so perverted, why talk about these things?

I should have discussed with her whether ZOE or FANN, who should be the queen of Caldecott Hill. damn that TIMES mag, poison my mind. Maybe she's lagging. so I waited... and waited. Although it's just a few minutes, but it felt like several hours. I want to apologize, but do not know how to start until she sent me this msg:

"slorr... lets meet..."

Without hesitation, I typed 'O-K'.

crush calculator

2007-02-22T16:20:00.000+08:00

Who is your one and only?
Butterflies in your stomach when you catch sight of that special someone? Is it lust or is it true love? Will it work out or will it be just another futile attempt? Before you pop the all important "I love you", use our Crush Calculator to find out if he or she is The One! Calculate your compatibility:

http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/136667822

I am going to tell a romantic love story.. hope all of u enjoy it..

2007-02-21T01:50:00.000+08:00

Part ONE

I met her on the net, how?

I can't remember, but it seems to me that it is this 'little theory' which I declared in the cyberspace that caught her attention.

"If I have a million dollars, I would buy a house. Do I have a million?"

"No. That's why I don't have a house."

"If I have wings, I can fly. Do I have wings?"

"No. So I can never fly."

"If all the waters are drawn out of Pacific Ocean, but it still can't put off the flame of love between us. Can all the waters of Pacific Ocean be drawn off?"

"No. That’s why I don't love you."

That's me, a typical engineering student. First, you come up with an assumption, then you fit a suitable conclusion.

If the proposed assumption doesn't stand at all, then everything is just bullshit. I guess this is what they call 'unromantic'.

But she is an exception. She actually mailed me and said that I am an 'interesting' person.

'Interesting’? What a word to use on me, it's like using 'faithful' on Mr. Clinton. I thought this gal must be a low-IQ organism, or suffering from serious brain damage.

Anyway, her nick doesn't seems so bad.

-FLYNDANCE -

That’s quite a unique one.

But I was warning myself: Hello, this is the virtual world of Internet. Who knows what might be lurking behind a beautiful nick.

Talking from experience, most of the time it will be a 'dinosaur' in disguise, the only differences will be whether it is a carnivore or a herbivore. But, I know she is way different from a 'dinosaur', she is special.

So I guess its time for the appearance of FlyNDance.

Ever since she mailed to tell me that I am 'interesting', I was always wishing to meet her in #NTU (an mIRC channel for NTU since msn is not an "in" thing at that time). Too bad, lady luck was just not on my side. So I can only reply her letter to tell her that I will start to train myself to become an 'interesting' person, just to show that she is far-sighted.

She replied my reply, I replied her reply to my reply, she again replied my reply to her reply.....blah blah.....blah....

Oh no, I just started a chain-reaction!

Actually what interested me the most is this 'para' she wrote in one of the mails....

'I dance slightly, amidst the crowd.

Your glance on me be it surprise, be it admiration, It ain't gonna stop my rhythm.

'Cos it's not your glance that made me dance, it's my heart of youth.'

I simply cannot relate this gal to any of the 'dinosaurs'.

But if she really is a dinosaur, I am willing to let her have her fill.

TYE, my hostel roomie unfortunately, noticed my little affair with FlyNDance, and has been perpetually warning me about this....

"HELLO!!! You don't even know what she looks like, why take the risk? Maybe 'she' is a guy!! Haha!!"

I can't blame Tye for his ignorance. Ever since he was dumped by Sally in Year 2, he has become a renowned 'playboy'.

As the saying goes: "Once bitten, Twice shy".

In this case, after Tye was bitten, he has mastered the art of skinning snakes alive, and make into soup. But he got all the factors to be a playboy, I always think he is the 23 year-old version of Brad Pitt.

Tall, handsome and got this tongue that causes diabetes in every women he targets. I don't think he can even remember how many girlfriends he had .

I went online that night, log onto #NTU and..... Yesh!! She is there!!

Before I can get over the surprise and the daze, she sent me a message.....

"hey Slorr...so late liao haven't slept ahh??"

Now what? Now what??!! Ok ok, I had to calm down first. I swallowed hard on my saliva, took a few deep breath.

Now where is that Tye when I needed him most at such crucial moment, somebody to tell me what to say to her.

How am I going to attract her with my pathetic humour which has gone stale.

"slorr... me in a foul mood today...can't sleep.. u leh??"

"I am not feeling very good too.... so let's sad together."

Finally squeezed a sentence out, but I can already feel droplets of sweat forming on my forehead.

Actually I m not in a bad mood, I just wanna follow up her topic that's all.

And if she ask for the reason for my feeling down, I can say:

"since u r feeling down, how can I ever be happy?"

I know it sounds mushy, but Tye said: "MUSHYNESS IS THE FUNDAMENTAL TO ALL COURTSHIP."

And gals are a very weird species, they trust their ears far more than their eyes.

So instead of doing 10 things to impress her, why not just say a sentence to move her.

"ok... but u haven't greet me leh..."

DAMNIT! How can I forget simple manners to gals. To think they call me 'MR COURTEOUS' in school.

If this thing ever leaks out in school, I would lost all my female fans.

"nice to meet u...miss long-hair..."

I've been wishing that she's keeping long hair.

Tye said that:

"FlyNDance...hmm...she would either be long-haired or a desperado, because when gals dance, only 2 parts of them may fly: hair and skirt.

So if she doesn't has long hair, that means her skirt flies when she dances, AH-HA!! This has a certain sexual hint in it... haha.."

"heh? how u know I got long hair?"

BINGO!! Heaven is on my side this time. It goes to prove that she is not a DESPERADO. Yesh!!

"not only that....I also know u seldom wear skirt...."

I increased the stake, if I am correct this time, peace on earth forever.

"err... I guess u r rite lor.. but how u know one?"

HAHAHAHAHA.... I m good ahh...

"just guess..."

"ok lor... hey slorr... tell u wat.. me tired liaoz... u

coming online tomorrow morning??"

"ya... y??.."

Please...please...please say the u coming too, if not I m going to kill myself for letting u go tonight.

"I’ll see ya tomorrow at 10 am then...good night..."

"er.. should be today at 10 am.. ok.. good night too"

I just blurted out a last sentence....

Offline. Suddenly I was so impressed by my performance just now.

But is the season of spring really arriving for me? I wish....

Tiramisu

2007-02-20T01:46:00.000+08:00

let me tell u the story of tiramisu...
during world war I, the Italians men were forced to go to war..
the italians women were too poor to prepare proper food for their husband.
Therefore, they used the leftover biscuits and cakes to make desert by pouring coffee powders over the biscuits and cakes..
these desert reminded their husband of their love during the war..
therefore, another name for tiramisu is also called.. "remember me"...

italians are so romantic..

can't fall asleep

2007-02-16T03:32:00.000+08:00

why can't i fall asleep when i am so so tired... both mentally and physically...
sitting on my bed.. in my small small single room... i feel that i am in prison.. both physically and mentally too... where can i find the key to this prison door?? who can free me of these dreadful everything... life is a agony... i know all these are caused by myself.. becos of my stubbornness... and my unwillingness to admit lose... i am tired.. but i must carry on.. cos i must win...
anyone can understand me? haiz... i have been by myself for too long.. until i am locked by myself.. in my own prison.. no one can free me other than myself.. but will i free myself.. oh... i tink the question is can i free myself?? and am i willing to free myself... i shall think the best key for this prison of agony.. is death.. death seemed like the only key to my own prison... but i can't die... death is not a choice for me....
当痛苦已经成为一种必然，你就不会再感到痛苦。。唯一的感觉只是累，就像身上扛着无法卸下的大石头，压得你喘不过气来。但你还是要继续走。。望着前面永无止境的路，你只能默默地走。。这条路没有终点，也没有休息站。你不知道为什么要继续走。或许这就叫做执著吧。。明明知道是没有理由，没有结果的，但还是逼着自己继续下去。。在这条人生的道路上，谁能走到终点？又有谁能放下石头？希望存在吗？在哪里才能看见曙光呢？我在等待着。。。总有一天，希望的曙光会照在我身上。

dan yuan ren chang jiu

2007-02-16T01:04:00.000+08:00

jackie cheung's new song dan yuan ren chang jiu is damm nice..
i will put it as my background music...
enjoy it everybody..

FYP==headache...

2007-02-14T03:59:00.000+08:00

haiz.. why am i so stupid..
everything went wrong.. now i've got to redo AGAIN!!
2 more weeks.. to complete what should be actually done in a year..
god bless me.. i wan to graduate...

2007-02-12T23:40:00.000+08:00

this post is specially written to my c girls..
i am sorry that i am unable to go down to support u all...
after i know u are lost to presbyterian high today, i am sort of worried..
i know some of u will be very sad and demoralized...
and in my mind i am thinking what i can do to help you all..
however, in the end, i realized that there is really minimum i can do as a coach..
every player must learn how to face failures and losses themselves..
they should be able to learn from their losses, reflex on why have they lost..
which of their skill is not good enough yet..
and what good points of the opponent are there to be learnt...
this is how we improve.. cos there is no one who can always win and nv lose...
even the current world champion wang li qin and zhang yining also face loses...
it is just how they face it positively and learn their mistake from their failure and set themselves in the correct mood to fight for the next competition again!
so i hope everyone can learn from ur mistake too and adopt a positive thinking to set ur mood right for the next match again!!
that's all i have to say.. i will be there for u all on thursday which is the last competition day for u all! jiayou!

2007-02-12T00:48:00.000+08:00

so nice.. i wish i can be always be by the sea...

first time got cute girls appear on my blog!

2007-02-11T21:58:00.000+08:00

i am creating this post becos "someone" ask me to update my blog la! haha!
talk about last fri first..

so tiring.. went to plmgs to umpire.. then went bishan j8 to eat rotiprata with zt cos he suddenly wants to eat prata! and then i ate ice kachang.. in the end.. go back hall.. diarrhea... so xian...
then watched a bit of tabletennis china national team selection then go nite cycling le..
somehow feel that this year's nite cycling not as fun... our ass all damm pain lor!!! lousy bicycle!!
then from 11pm cycle till 7am to reach east coast park!! the sun rise is damm nice! took some pictures on my hp.. maybe upload later!

then my frens and i share cab.. they all went home and sleep..
only me.. take cab to SJC for training.. then i reach too earli la.. 8.15am reached le...
then sleep on the bench until dan, jo, janelle, cheryl, clare and tania reacher.. it's like 9.15 le...
then i wake up.. and tried to teach clare, cheryl and tania wat is setting up.. but in the end.. end up i also dunnoe wat i talking.. maybe too sleepy le.. cheryl keep nodding her head.. but i don't tink she understand... then tania so not interested.. and see her like not very good mood.. only clare seemed to be interested.. so i continue to train with her and explain to her how to set up the point to attack..

then after zt comes, he take over the 3 singles.. cos our original plan is he teach singles, i teach doubles.. so i hand over clare to him.. and go and coach juliana and tingxun first..

first we trained multi ball.. and after that i serve, the 2 of them take turns to receive and then continue play like competition like that.. then i taught them how to differentiate topspin and backspin.. everything went ok.. except tingxun's backhand loop still not stable.. but i guess it alright.. cos most likely they will only use backhand chop..

after that trained with szemin and eileen.. at first eileen keep run wrong direction la.. keep crashing into szemin.. after a while of familiarisation then ok le.. then same for them.. i teach them how to differentiate top and back spin by serving different spins to let them receive.. szemin's backhand is able to hit quite fast and wide angle.. then eileen is actually doing ok.. just need to be more confident.. i tink on fri she is scolded by teacher and coach ba.. although she nv say.. but i guess is becos she can't hit wide angle enuff.. but in my training she's quite ok.. maybe she is too stressed with teacher and jiaolian around until she can't perform.. lao shi commented a bit but with me around, i will cover and protect them.. so i defended them say they are doing ok le.. then laoshi din comments a lot liao..

then i super tired.. go and rest at 12.30.. then saw zt playing match with the 3 of them.. so i joined him! that was quite fun la! we lost 1 game, won 2nd game, lost 3rd, and won 4th and 5th game.. haha! zt's ball is damm spinny.. all the 3 of them got problem blocking la.. don't say them, i block zt's loop also very difficult.. at first i keep losing points.. cos i am still too tired and sleepy.. then i slowly adjust until game4 and game5 i don't attack le.. with less attacking, i made zero mistake.. and i wait for them to make mistake themselves! haha! then tania's eyes very pain..
first 3 games, tania is like the only one who keep winning zt.. but after her eyes pain.. zt and me like won straight.. 5th game not much fight..

then very jialat.. very jialat.. cos the gates are all locked.. and we are trapped inside the sch.. i managed to jump out at the staircase.. but i tink it's realli too high for the girls.. lucky i managed to find the teacher la! he opened the gate for us.. but he made lots of comments la.. i a bit scare tml he will complain to principal.. i don't wan my girls to get into trouble la...

next was the great lunch! laoshi and jiaolian treat us! 'us' comprises of tania, cheryl, me and zt.. dan went off to coach at national stadium.. the meal is in a chinese restaurant! the food was great! esp. tania's relative! so nice! too bad she cannot eat! then i 'secretly' took some photos of tania and cheryl.. actually is not secretly.. cos they all discovered.. so sian.. so kenna take back photos and video by them... jialat...

then tania and cheryl went with us to train at national stadium.. zt got to help dan train his disciple, so left with me.. tania was like keep screaming lor!! my ears almost cannot take it.. she wants to tell the whole world i bully her xia! the training was ok.. at last she understand a bit of setting up.. tania's forehand is realli quite good and smooth le.. just that she still doubting herself.. next was cheryl.. her forehand still not confident enuff.. and keep don't dare to use la.. but once she use is like quite powerful.. cheryl should be more confident also...

then we played doubles.. bojian was there and pair with me.. then we win 1 point is 1/3 point.. they win one point is one point.. we lost like 11-4.1/3
means they won 11 balls.. we won like 4x3+1=13 balls..
which is quite half fight.. next 2 games the score is not any much better..
actually me and zt pair maybe can win them.. too bad dan wants him to help coach chenghong..

then at 6.15pm, tania and cheryl left on cab.. omg.. they better don't get lost.. or be late for tuition.. or else next time their parents won't let them train with us outside le...

then we continue to play till 9pm.. i won bojian and binghan.. only lost to zt la.. not bad le! so sleepy still can play! i myself also don't believe it!!! then we went to eat dinner at dohby gaut! when zt talk to me.. i a bit like blank liao.. my mind.. totally went blank.. on the bus back home.. i sleep until saliva come out... but nvm.. i got no image de.. haha!!

reach home sleep at 12midnite..
tiring day... but quite fun.. hopefully my c girls can win pres high tml... but i also nv see pres high's standard.. heard is quite high.. so jiayou everyone!!
and jiayou myself!! got to try to finish my fyp b4 chinese new year!!
oh.. and happy valentines day to all couples out there!!

2007-02-03T23:35:00.000+08:00

todae din managed to either train table tennis or go ktv...
it is realli called a super wasteful day... my original plan was to sing ktv.. but i somehow feel that train tabletennis is more important.. so we cancelled the ktv.. in the end.. someone put me plane also... don't wan to train with me... nvm...
in the end.. go home.. watch tv.. slack.. sleep...

so one saturday wasted.. haiz.. saturday is the only day i can run away from my FYP... and my final modules... and enjoy a bit of life... but wasted le..

tml... i should go practise my motorbike... and then go back hall do FYP.. and at nite watched jue dui superstar finals!!

yeah!! another week without training.. i tink at the joola leageage.. i will become a chicken playing tabletennis....

2007-02-01T20:36:00.000+08:00

Real Positive Thinking
By James Manktelow

All too often, positive thinking is advocated as an answer to all life's problems. "Just think positively," the argument goes, "and you'll blast through the barriers in your way."

Yes, and no. And if you've ever tried using positive thinking techniques, you may have found this "no" out to your cost.

Sure, we all have mental barriers that we have to break through. Some of these barriers protected us as children, but hold us back now. Others come from self-doubt, negative self-talk and lack of recognition of our real skills, abilities and experience. And yes, some of these barriers really do stop us achieving the happiness and success we deserve.

However, at a simple level, some things are just not possible. At another level, there are some good opportunities you'll be well-placed to realize, and others that you won't be.

So whether you are a pessimist or an eternal optimist (and naturally a positive thinker) I prescribe a good dose of reality checking alongside your positive thinking. So that we can perform and achieve well, positive thinking must be accompanied by actions such as planning, preparation and practice.

Here we look at some steps that help you act positively, by taking positive actions as well as thinking positively too. Firstly we look at "Thought Awareness," a technique you can use to understand your fears and negative thoughts. We then look at rational thinking and positive thinking as ways of countering the negative thoughts you have identified.

Thought Awareness

You are thinking negatively when you fear the future, put yourself down, criticize yourself excessively for errors, doubt your abilities or expect failure. Negative thinking can damage confidence, harm performance and paralyze mental skills.

Unfortunately, negative thoughts have a tendency to flit into our consciousness, do their damage and then flit back out again, with their significance having barely been noticed. Since we barely notice these negative thoughts, we do not challenge them properly, which means they can be completely incorrect and wrong. This does not stop them doing damage.

Thought awareness is the process by which you observe your thoughts and become aware of what is going through your head.

To use the technique, observe your "stream of consciousness" as you think about what you are trying to achieve. Do not suppress any thoughts. Instead, just let them run their course while you make note of them.

As you notice negative thoughts, write them down and then let them go.

Here are some of the typical negative thoughts you might experience when preparing to give a major presentation:

Fear about the quality of your performance or of problems that may interfere with it;
Worry about how the audience or the press may react to you;
Worries about how you appear to others, for example, important people;
Dwelling on the negative consequences of a poor performance;
Self-criticism over less than perfect rehearsal and practice, or
Feelings of inadequacy.

Thought awareness is the first step in the process of eliminating negative thoughts: You cannot counter thoughts that you do not know you think.

Rational Thinking (for Positive Planning)

The next step in dealing with negative thinking is to challenge the negative thoughts that you wrote down using the Thought Awareness technique.

Look at every thought you wrote down and challenge it rationally. Ask yourself whether the thought is reasonable. What evidence is there for and against the thought? Would your friends or mentors agree with the thought or disagree with it?

Looking at some of the examples, the following challenges could be made to these common negative thoughts:

Quality of performance: Have you trained yourself as well as you reasonably should have? Have you gathered the information you need and prepared properly for the event? Have you conducted a reasonable number of rehearsals? If so, you've done as much as you can to give a good performance.
Problems of distraction and issues outside your control: Have you considered the risks and taken steps to make mitigate these? What will you do if any of these problems occur? And what would you need others to do for you?
Worry about other people’s reaction: If you perform the best you can, then you should be completely satisfied. If you give a good performance, fair people are likely to respond well. If people are not fair, then this is something outside your control, and the best thing to do is to ignore and rise above any unfair comments.
Problems during practice: If some of your practice was less than perfect, then remind yourself that the purpose of practice is to identify problems so that they will not be repeated during the performance. Similarly, ask yourself whether it is reasonable to expect perfect performance at all times. All that is important is that you perform well when you need to.

Tip:
In some cases you might rationally conclude that the negative thought is correct - in this case, there's no shame in recognizing this and adjusting your goals appropriately. However, make sure that your negative thoughts are genuinely important in achieving your goals, and that they don't just reflect a lack of training or experience in an area, which you could change with a little effort.

Now is the time to make sure your positive action plan is in place: Using our example of the presentation, ensure that you complete all the practice and preparation that is required. Make sure you have mentally rehearsed the performance or event, and put in place contingency plans for any problems that could arise.

Positive Thinking

By now, you should already be feeling a more positive: Some of your negative thoughts will be allayed by planning your preparation and contingencies. The final step for Real, Positive Thinking is to prepare rational, positive thoughts and affirmations to counter any remaining negativity.

Drawing on the Thoughts Awareness and Rational Thinking exercises, and your positive planning, now prepare positive affirmations that will help you to build self-confidence and change negative behavior patterns into positive ones. Your affirmations, based on the clear, rational assessment that you made using Rational Thinking, will help undo the damage that negative thinking may have caused you.

Continuing the example above, positive affirmations could be:

Quality of performance: "I have trained hard for this event. I have prepared well and have rehearsed thoroughly. I am well positioned to give an excellent performance."
Problems of distraction and issues outside your control: "I have thought through everything that might reasonably happen and have planned how I can handle all likely contingencies. I am well placed to react flexibly to events."
Worry about other people’s reaction: "Fair people will react well to a good performance. I will rise above any unfair criticism in a mature and professional way."
Problems during practice: "I have experimented with and learned from my practice. This has put me in a position where I can deliver a great performance. I am going to perform very well, and I'm going to enjoy the event."

In conclusion…

Traditionally, people have advocated positive thinking almost recklessly, as if it is a solution to everything. Positive thinking should be used with common sense: No amount of positive thinking can make everyone an Olympic champion marathon runner (although positive thinking, along with hard training, will certainly help someone with this talent and potential.)

First, decide rationally what you can realistically attain with hard work, then plan the hard work and preparation, and finally use positive thinking to "blast through those barriers" - rationally.

2007-02-01T20:14:00.000+08:00

i have lost all my abilities...
morning went for my motorcycle traffic police test.. it's the 3rd time already..
still failed.. feel that i can't control the bike fully..
i have lost my abilities..
then i was so sad... i banged my hand on the pillar... lucky the pillar nv broke.. i scare my hand too powerful...
then i took mrt from yck back to boonlay..
i still don't believe my abilities all gone..
so i went arcade to play virtual tennis3..
usually i can play up to the last stage which is stage5... todae i had problem even to get thru stage one.. and i lost in stage 2... i tried for 4 times until my card no credit... only the last time managed to get thru stage2.. but dio trash at stage 3...
i tink my abilities are realli gone... can't catch the timing properly.. and can't serve properly...
then i went for lecture.. then the career fair.. my fren won the AMD need for speed challenge and won a AMD processor dual core...
after that.. i went to meet my FYP supervisor.. i noe it has to come.. cannot avoid de.. kenna suan by him... he say the rest of his students all doing the touching up.. and i am just at the starting phase.. when the deadline is already so near.. he also said wat i've done could be completed in a week... ultimate...
i realli feel like giving up...
i have lost all my abilities... the ability to do things properly..
be it riding motorbike, playing games, studying, doing project, or table tennis...
i can't do it... i am total failure...
but i just cannot admit that i failed... i die also cannot believe i am so fuck up...
i will keep trying.. trying trying.. until i can do it again... or if i keep failing, i will still keep trying trying... no one can say i failed when i haven't give up on myself... i have nothing left with me now... wat is left in me is just the spirit of not giving up... but i am not sure whether it is determination.. cos i have no confidence in succeeding...

2007-02-01T14:01:00.000+08:00

我没有输...
只要我还没有认输，我就不算输...
虽然我现在能力全失，但我会重新开始，一点一滴的累积，直到我取回能力，并超越以前的自己...
我永远也不会认输，因为我是个输不起的人...

2007-01-30T21:52:00.000+08:00

todae so tired... took mrt to braddell from sch.. then sleep until liu kou sui... then bought a piece of new rubber.. desto F1 Hard sponge.. hope it is nice to use! then went to ssdc for my class 2b lessons.. public road was ok.. other than stopping inside the yellow box... which constitute an immediate failure....
but circuit revision went haywire... out of the many many rounds of revision, every round i also made some serious mistakes which constitute immediate failure..
like emergency brake can't break b4 the white line.. and going up the kerb of figure of 8 course.. and dropping of the plank... i tink i jialat liao... thursday will be my 3rd test.. i MUST pass!!! MUST ok!!!! my bike park in carpark for 2 months liao....

then after the lessons, i took mrt from yio chu kang back to boon lay.. then sleep sleep sleep... sleep until the mrt reached jurong east i still sleep.. and the mrt went back to ang mo kio... and i nv realise.. i only realised when it reaches kranji... and that wasted me like more than half an hour of time to travel back to jurong east again... WTH... looks like luck was not with me todae.. tml will be the NTU career fair.. don't have formal office wear with me in hostel now.. haiz.. i must get a proper job!! then i will have my own money to spend!!

and my FYP supervisor still don't wan to reply me.. tink i will email him everyday.. he wan me to fail issit!!!! WTF!!!!!! i don't wan to retain one year in ntu!!!

this sat going for KTV!! so happy!!! long long time nv sing.. i have thot of a lot of songs to sing on sat le! so excited!!

the next next fri got nite cycling! from boon lay for east coast park!!! so excited!! very long nv go ecp le!! i shall go and sing to the sea.. and the sunrise!! so beautiful!!! can imagine!!

水调歌头

2007-01-29T00:57:00.000+08:00

明月几时有? 把酒问青天
不知天上宫阙今夕是何年?
我欲乘风归去唯恐琼楼玉宇
高处不胜寒起舞弄清影何似在人间?
转朱阁低绮户照无眠
不应有恨何事长向别时圆?
人有悲欢离合月有阴晴圆缺
此事古难全
但愿人长久千里共婵娟

new blog skin

2007-01-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

i am so proud of my new blog skin! so nice! wahahaha!!
todae went to fuhua sec to coach... so funny, a player called me jiao lian and i got no reaction, then he called, na ge nian qing de jiao lian.. then i realised he was calling me! so funny.. not used to pple calling me jiao lian... anywae i hope all my players improve improve and improve! and get into zone top4! how i wish i could give them extra training outside.. since i noe they train 2 days per week not enuff de... other schs players training everyday lor..
anywae.. my studies lagging again... final year and final sem le... after these 2 to 3 months, i will be free from studying the whole of my life le...
i tink i will miss studying... working life is no fun... i hate working...
i like tabletennis!! haha!! how i hope i can be a full time professional player... but that can only happen in my dreams...

pc spoilt until new pc form... shack...

2007-01-24T00:07:00.000+08:00

haiz.. super tiring.. from upgrading computer to spoiling computer... then to assembling new computer... the process used up a lot alot of my time and energy.. but finally my new pc is up!!! hope it doesn't give me any problem le... shack ah....

IVP Silver

2007-01-20T00:24:00.000+08:00

this year our table tennis team beat all the poly technics but lost to NUS and clinched the silver medal! this is my last year in NTU.. and the silver medal completes my collection as i had gotten the bronze medal is year1 and year2 and the gold medal in year3..
i thanx everyone in the team for leaving me such a nice memory b4 i leave the team!
u all are great!! i am glad to have u all as teammates!!

my last 2 years in the team are my happiest years in NTU tabletennis team..
the first 2 years i am like just training for myself.. instead of the team.. at that time, those seniors are like super dua pai.. when they feel like it, they come for training, and when they don't feel like it, they just skip it.. i totally cannot feel the spirit of our team... luckily, my last 2 years i have great juniors! the feeling of team spirit is back! thanx everyone of u in the team! thanx teammates!!

now is time for me to relax a bit liao.. but b4 relaxing.. i have to finish my fyp interim report first! then i will take a short break b4 going all out for the rest of my fyp and modules again!! yeah!!!

hopefully my illness will recover soon...

你看你看月亮的脸

2007-01-17T01:36:00.001+08:00

圆圆的圆圆的月亮的脸
扁扁的扁扁的岁月的书签
甜甜的甜甜的你的笑颜
是不是到了分手的时间
不忍心让你看见我流泪的眼
只好对你说你看你看
月亮的脸偷偷的在改变
月亮的脸偷偷的在改变

圆圆的圆圆的月亮的脸
长长的长长的寂寞海岸线
高高的高高的蔚蓝的天
是不是到了离别的秋天
我们已走得太远已没有话题
只好对你说你看你看
月亮的脸偷偷的在改变
月亮的脸偷偷的在改变

fail again....

2007-01-11T13:39:00.000+08:00

haiz... 2nd riding TP test fail again...
my motorbike is waiting for me for 1 month liao.. now it got to wait for another month...
how did i knock a cone down... a mistake that i have not made b4 in any practice..
xian ah.........

IH champion to hall6!!!

2007-01-09T00:05:00.000+08:00

this year we managed to defend our table tennis title!
Although we are trailing from 0-2 down, we managed to create a turn over and won the team match at 3-2!!
what a tiring day for me.. i think it's the most tiring day for me in 2007...
it is the first time i am playing a deciding match when both team draw at 2 matches to 2 matches..
lucky our opponents are not that good..
the women doubles match is sure a 惊心动魄 one...
in the end, we won at 3-2.. final game 12-10...
my heart almost jumped out man... scary!!
and the cheering is the loudest i had heard in my whole life of playing table tennis..
when the player shout out loud for every ball, he can't even hear his own voice.. this is how loud the cheering is..
that's y i think that ih is the hardest competition to play.. the stress level is so damn high lor..
even higher than army interformation..
actually i wish to play first singles with zhiwei de.. cos i wanna train myself to perform under such a high level of stress...
but honghan and zhenjie disagree.. but it's ok! the most important thing is we won!!
phew... tiring... tml frenly match with singapore sports school.. then wed frenly match with hwa chong institute.. and thur is the ivp match against nus....
omg.. i tink after this week i will die...
my bones will break lor! old liao leh! haha!!
i believe i can do it de... prove myself to everyone.. i can do it!!
i can do it!
i can do it i can do it i can do it i can do it i can do it i can do it
i can do it i can do it
i can do it
i can do it!!!
i can do it i can do it i can do it i can do it i can do it.....
............
...................
.........
I CAN DO IT!!!!

黄昏晓

2007-01-08T03:26:00.001+08:00

有人说
天刚要黑的时候
在天边出现的第一颗星星
它叫
黄昏晓

风吹呀吹
吹呀吹
吹在黄昏的空中
我飘呀飘
飘啊飘
飘不进你的心中
问一问风怎么说
也不能解释所有的痛
到不如问一问我
要怎么去过

风吹呀吹
吹呀吹
吹在微凉的梦中
我追阿追
追阿追
却停在原地不动
风为什么还不走
陪着我安静等你划过
我不再问为什么
因为我懂了

拥抱的温度
只有你清楚
通往幸福的旅途
黄昏才领悟
该往哪里停驻
我用一辈子
去追逐

风吹呀吹
吹呀吹
风吹呀吹
吹呀吹

ivp....

2007-01-06T01:59:00.000+08:00

haiz... ivp competition is starting.. first match against nus liao..
in order to maintain our champion position, we must beat them..
but niqi and kewei are unbeatable...
so we got to win the other 3 points..
and so every player, no matter who, when they play against nus players other than niqi and kewei is supposed to win...
this is the kind of stress we are getting... and with my f... up form lately, i tink i will be the scapegoat who sabo the team to lose... and somemore FYP report is supposed to be submitted on 15th jan... and umpiring duties is on me too... where got time.. and yet i am slacking.. writing blog... and being moody... wtf... what a f... up person am i...

stars!!

2007-01-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

when is the last time i ever glazed the sky, staring at the stars...
it has realli been a long long time...
todae's stars are so bright... the wind is so cooling...
it's a nice nice night...
the starry nite is the best medicine for my heart...
when i am feeling down.. feeling so helpless... the stars gave my answers...
answers to my endless questions about life... helpless life.... helpless human beings...
to be able to forget is a gift...
but there are some things which u realli can't forget...
life... wat kind of game is it...
why must every human being play this game... even if u noe u are going to lose in the end... and there is no chance for u to fight back...
i am realli very tired... i wan to give up liao... let u win la... don't play le.....

落花有意，流水无情。。

2007-01-04T02:10:00.000+08:00

深秋的黎明，夜未央，天未白。。
有情的人儿，无心睡眠，；无情的人儿，心思难猜。。
花儿为它而开，花儿也为它而凋。。。

雨声伴着凉风，好久没能感受心里泛起的阵阵涟漪。。。
这样的感觉，究竟意味着什么？
只有流水，能够给落花一个答案。。。
但无情的流水，心里到底在思量着什么？
或许永远也无人知晓。。

这样一个奇特的青春年华，
这样一段月光下一起哭过，笑过的故事，
看来只能留它在斯人心灵深处，一处无可触摸的角落。
遗憾--永远是最美的。。。

am i happy??

2007-01-02T01:29:00.000+08:00

why do i always feel so empty..
i noe i am not happy...
i can't be like when i am in sec or jc..
at that time, happi or sad.. i can just show it...
now... when i laugh, i don't even noe i am realli happi or not...
that's a hole deep inside of my heart..
i am trying very hard to fill it...
but i noe the hole is still there...
how can i fill this emptiness inside of me...

When I have something to say...

2006-12-30T01:13:00.000+08:00

Tania just told me she felt honoured to have her name mentioned in my blog! haha!! so i am going to let it appear a lot of times!!! Tania, Tania, Tania, tania, tania..
omg.. hand very tired after typing so many 'tania's..
shall let it rest...

anyway.. this morning went to train with peter at lelin.. and i was late.. so i had to treat him hokkien mee as agreed...
then i was late for training with clare, tania and cheryl..

i reached there around 1.20pm.. and started training them at like around 1.40.. first was clare, then tania, then cheryl..
think the 3 of them trained very long liao.. b4 i reached.. so they looked very tired.. and all 3 of them improved a lot.. esp. tania and cheryl.. so actually they were ahead of my plan.. and so i relaxed a bit.. and tania and cheryl refused to learn the backhand long pimple sliding tackle! so i got nothing more to train.. so keep training their footwork, forehand, backhand, top spin, backspin.. and combine top spin and backspin, and combine forehand and backhand..
hope all these repeated training will make them very familiar with all the different shots so that once they see the ball, they can react immediately. and the most important thing is their hand feeling.. ( touch for the ball ).

clare's forehand smack cum loop action still not as smooth as tania and cheryl yet.. however, her backhand is good.. nid to concentrate more to train her forehand and footwork.. seemed a little bit stiff still..

results out le!!

2006-12-28T10:35:00.000+08:00

this morning i am waken up by my fren's sms to inform me results out liao!!
then i anxiously go to my computer to check my results..
and omg... i am going to faint... i got
2A+ 2A- 1A...
simply can't believe my eyes...
in the end... i realised i am dreaming...

kai wan xiao de.. i am not dreaming! it's true!

once upon a long time.... there are 3 good friends...

2006-12-28T01:15:00.000+08:00

once upon the time, there are 3 good friends.
they could come together and discuss about table tennis, share their thinkings and ideas.. and had lots of fun...
i still remember the days when the 3 of them watch table tennis competition online together, then discuss and tok cok on msn.. and remember how the 3 of them come together to discuss about t.t. equipments and other stuffs..

However, the happy days are no longer there... the 3 of them now have their own thinking and start leaving the grp le...
i feel so sad for them... the days when the 3 of them chases the same dream.. and work hard together towards their dream is gone...

now.. they are back to themselves... lonely chasing their own dreams... even though their dreams might be the same...
but they are not working together as a team anymore...
haiz....

When I have something to say...

2006-12-27T03:09:00.000+08:00

i am bored too.. and no one to entertain me.. so doing this.. taken from tania's blog

50 random things about YOU.
1. Where is your dad right now?
at home..

2. Last time you kissed someone?
1.5 years ago..

3. What is something that you learned about yourself recently?
i am slack...

4. What color is your watch?
don't wear watch

5. Do you like anyone?
myself counted??

6. Are you close to your mum?
not very close..

7. Where does your best friend work?
studying..

8. What are you listening to right now
the sound of the rain..

9. What do you smell like?
smell toufu..

10. What color are your pants?
wear shorts now...

11. Have you ever done a chinese fire drill?
wat's that??

12. What color is your bedroom flooring?
white and light brown

13. Do you have a chair in your room?
yes

14. What time of day were you born?
between 2am to 5am??

15. Do you know anyone who is engaged?
no..

16. What's your favorite number?
7,16..

What color is your mum's hair?
black

19. Do you have a dog?
no.

20. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?
yupp.. 3 tigers..

21. When was the last time you went swimming?
long long ago...

22. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
few hours ago..

23. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
sec sch time..

24. Do you play an instrument?
no.. trying to learn guitar though..

25. Do you like fire?
during camp fire only..

26. Are you allergic to anything?
no.

27. When was the last time you cried?
long long long ago...

29. Have you ever been to a spa?
no.

31. Do you like butterflies?
not realli..

33. What is one thing you miss about your past?
haiz.. everything... esp. sec sch and jc days....

34. Have you ever seen the school counsellor?
sch got counsellor one meh??

35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
maybe...

36. What is one thing you've learned about life?
it is damn damn bo liao.... meaningless...

37. Are you jealous of anyone?
yeah!

38. Is anyone jealous of you?
don't tink so... got wat to jealous of me de...?

39. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
forgot liao... like nv...

40. What does your dad call you?
loo ah...

41. What does your mum call you?
loo ah...

42. What does you hair look like right now?
short and black..

43. Has a friend ever used you?
yah.. friends are for each other to use de..

44. Has anyone recently told you that they like you more than as a friend?
no..

45. What have you eaten today?
wan ton mee... and teriyaki mos burger... hungry now...

46. Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
a bit curly when long..

48. Who was the last person you drove with?
i drove ah? my family bah...

49. What are you looking forward to this weekend?
everyday is the same now..

50. How are you today?
i am xian.... bored..

When I have something to say...

2006-12-26T23:22:00.000+08:00

just confirmed with him le... he thot i am playing... becos zt is playing... wth... zt playing means i playing meh...
haiz...
less money to earn...
how to cover up for the money i had spent??
"显"中之"显"...
like that tml nite i am free le.. should i go down support dan and zt or slack at home??? haiz..

When I have something to say...

2006-12-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

today is a slacking day for me just like any other days...
wake up 1pm le.. watched an episode of wo cai wo cai wo cai cai cai...
wu zong xian is as gao xiao as usual.. and the 网络美少女 no.2 is so cute!!
ate my lunch then set off to boon lay le..
it was raining as usual... everyday rain like that... i tink singapore will eventually be submerged in the ocean...
reached boon lay 5.30pm le.. played a while arcade to wait for my friend to arrive then we went to eat our dinner at mos burger...
and the conclusion both of us get is... mos burger meal can nv be a proper meal... can't even last us for the rest of our hours in the arcade...
we continued to play in the arcade till 10.30pm... lucky there is this buy $20 get another $20 credit offer.. and i spend my money topping up my card...
i played virtual tennis 3 all the way in the arcade... sometimes managed to get to the last stage.. sometimes cannot.. but last stage always dio trash la.. so xian..
we took bus back to NTU...
and it is still rain... so xian..
and even more xian is... when i reach my room... my vietnam roomie and his gf are in room.. eating some supper that doesn't smell so nice for me.. and they are using my chair.. so dl... and her handbag is on my bed somemore.. hopefully they nv do anything on my bed.... i got back my chair.. and luckily, he sent her gf off after a while... then i updated my blog.. preparing to go bathing now...
it is still raining.....
hopefully todae can do my FYP... till next morning!!
then play IH.. oh yah!! got to call uncle Chee Kong to confirm the umpire thingy...
so there is i go!

2006-12-26T03:48:00.000+08:00

suddenly feel that this world is so wu liao...
everything is like meaningless...
haiz... xian ah...
pple are forced to do wat they dislike...
and even when doing things that they like... in the end, they don't even noe why they do it... meaningless rite???
in the first place... why is there human being..
human beings think they are great... invented lots of things.. and changed the world into what they think is great.. however, is it realli great???
all those thing that human beings did... realli seemed so stupid if u put urself in the shoes of mother nature and think...
hao wu liao orh....

merry x'mas!

2006-12-25T15:39:00.000+08:00

这个季节，细雨纷飞。
但却让我感到身边的人带来的温馨。
人活在世上，到底为了什么？
这个问题我一直找不到答案。
或许人在世间，最大的享受，
就是迷迷糊糊，沉睡沉睡沉睡。。。

2006-12-24T13:24:00.000+08:00

merry x'mas everyone!!! and happy new year!!
life is like nokia handphone..
u nv noe when it is going to beep!!

When I have something to say...

Post YOG syndrome..

Yokohama WTTC 2009

相信

突然好想你

很想你

New Year Eve Count down to 2009

Shanghai trip 2008

Leadership and Vision

sprain my ankle 2 weeks ago...

singapore open 2008

happi 26th birthday to me!

Sunsports Open 2008

re-hi!

unlucky week... left hand swollen and cannot move...

over the rainbow..

back from vietnam

going vietnam loh

My Celebrity Look-alikes

one month nv update blog le...

祝我生日快乐

a wasted interconstituency games...

first day of work

i love this song

i will be fine 吴艾伦

back from genting!!

completed my degree finally

totally immersed

tiring but fun training!

sad sad..

it's so hard being a coach

bad mood...

joke of the year!

i nid training!!!

Finally ORDed!!

2 more days to ORD!!!

隐形的翅膀

boring 25th birthday

25 years old lor!! yeah!!

outdated post

葬花吟

FYP...

riding at nite after rain is damm cold...

why am i so stupid........

yes!!! finally passed my class2B!!!!

the story of the 3 monks

歌曲：晴天雨 歌手：tank 专辑：延长比赛

weak and old am i...

omg... 1oV3

Think i will just post everything!! quite long though.. slowly read.. get ur tissue paper beside you...

part 2 of the story

crush calculator

I am going to tell a romantic love story.. hope all of u enjoy it..

Tiramisu

can't fall asleep

dan yuan ren chang jiu

FYP==headache...

水调歌头

new blog skin

pc spoilt until new pc form... shack...

IVP Silver

你看你看 月亮的脸

fail again....

IH champion to hall6!!!

黄昏晓

ivp....

stars!!

落花有意，流水无情。。

am i happy??

When I have something to say...

results out le!!

once upon a long time.... there are 3 good friends...

When I have something to say...

When I have something to say...

When I have something to say...

merry x'mas!

歌曲：晴天雨歌手：tank 专辑：延长比赛

你看你看月亮的脸